In strolls dumbass who rejected me with a shirt that reads Your Mom is on my Top 8.
Me: Nice shirt.
Him: No, seriously I wish your Mom had a myspace, she'd be on my top 8 for sure. Wow, your Mom is seriously so hot.
Me: Attempts to kick him in the balls.
Him: Blocks me.
Seriously though, wtf?
On another note the Dude really is gay, he came back into town with highlights in his hair. Who does that? Seriously.
You spend Friday evening taking pictures of yourself to share with the internet, haha.
Yay!
SEE?
I know it's kind of sick to be excited about that, but that's me, SICK!
The comment was left on Friday but I didn't see it until last night and I was SOOOO excited!
Anonymous said...
Your an idiot. One yager bomb wouldn't make you pass out. Your obviously a slut and slept with some dude. Dont blame it on a delicious yager bomb.
8:58 PM
I've always found mean comments amusing when reading the popular blogs (the ones that actually have a big reading audience). I've always secretly wished to have someone hate what I've written or shared so much that they come to dislike me. I want to be judged by the Internet damn it! I want to feel special.
I think my problem has been though that I openly admit to doing stupid stuff, to being a drunk and a slut among other things. Which is obviously something the anonymous blogger wasn't aware of. You called me a slut? Yeah, I'm way ahead of you buddy. I pretty much do it in every post.
Do I really think I'm a slut outside of the Internet? No. Have I done slutty stuff before? Well, Yeah. Yes, I've had a one night stand, when I as 18, very drunk, and very stupid. I have never done it again, I learned my lesson and I would never do it again. Up until the night of that particular blog I had never kissed a random guy before and if you read the whole blog you can see that I clearly didn't sleep with him.
I made the guy sleep on the floor, while I took up his bed. Anonymous, Im also a bitch! You forgot that one. I was way more interested in comfortable sleeping than having sex with him. Do I think I was slutty that night? ABSOLUTELY. It's pretty slutty to kiss a random guy and then go home with him, even if you did nothing else but kiss.
Do I blame it on the Jager Bomb? Hell yeah I do! Do you know that Jager Bombs have Red Bull in them? Red Bull, it fucks me up. I can't drink Red Bull with out Jager. It hits me hard, makes my heart race, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Mix Red Bull with Jager and you get a very fucked up Emma. I black out every time I drink Red Bull with any type of alcohol. Which is why I always refuse Red Bull and everything, ask Santi. I made him take two free Jager Bombs in a row once because I can't handle them, and once again ask Santi, I can drink. A lot. Like a man a lot.
The real question though is if I regret kissing that random boy and taking the Jager Bomb that night? Hell no I don't! That night was an absolute blast, well what I can actually remember of it.
So thank you Anonymous for making my day and in my eyes validating my blog. Really, you made me feel special. I just have two questions to ask you. Do you not have taste buds? Because Jager Bombs, YUCK. Sure they are delicious is you like to lick a rusted steel pole laced with cinnamon. My second question is, are you also not good at contractions? Let me help you not look like an idiot, because the only idiot around here is me.
You really should have written:
You're (you are) an idiot!
And my response simply would have been:
Dear Anonymous,
Yes! Yes, I am. Although Jager Bombs are disgusting and you should read more carefully cause I said I didn't sleep with the guy I randomly kissed. Oh and anonymous thanks for making my day! Feel free to point out the obvious any time you'd like.
Although being that it's NaBloPoMo time, I desperately needed material. So thanks once again, cause you saved my ass.
Mom Reportedly Throws Baby at Boyfriend in Domestic Dispute
Monday, October 09, 2006
ERIE, Pa. — A woman used her 4-week-old baby as a weapon in a domestic dispute, swinging the infant through the air and striking her boyfriend with the child, authorities said. The baby was critically injured in the attack early Sunday, said District Attorney Bradley Foulk.
"Never, never, never. I can never remember anything like this," Foulk told the Erie Times-News.
Chytoria Graham, 27, of Erie, was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment and simple assault. She was held Monday in the Erie County Jail in lieu of $75,000 bail.
The infant, whose name and gender were not released, was taken to a hospital in Pittsburgh. Authorities did not identify the hospital, and the baby's condition Monday was not released.
There was no immediate indication whether the man Graham is accused of attacking was the baby's father.
Authorities removed four other children from Graham's home and placed them with the Erie County Office of Children and Youth, Foulk said.
What is wrong with people?
Sometimes I feel like throwing things, keyword: things. As in objects, not people. Sometimes I even feel like throwing things at people. But a baby?
Some people should have their vagina sown shut. Seriously, this woman doesn't just need her tubes tied, she needs her damn hole shut. That's right bitch, no sex for you. Then after her hole is closed we'll hand her over to her boyfriend and let him kick the living shit out of her, and this time we won't equip her with a baby.
You know what makes me feel old? When I sit here and wonder, "What the hell is this world coming to?"
All my life that is something I only heard from my elders, and now I watch and read the news and I ask the exact same question.
Another school shooting today. The media just will not shut up about the school shootings. Sure we need to be informed, but does it have to be at the front of every single news website, newspaper, and newscast? Can you just stop talking about the school shootings for a whole five minutes?
It's not that I am not sympathetic towards the victims and communities that these shootings have happened at. As a matter of fact I think the media should just STFU about it to allow them some peace. Let them grieve and attempt to rebuild some normalcy.
What's even worse is that psychopaths feed off that shit. The mind of a psychopath is really not as complicated as everyone thinks. Read about them. They all have the same thought patttern and they have been figured out. They thrive and crave attention. So stop giving it to them. Of course these shootings have similarites, psychopaths aren't the most original people on this earth. They feed off each other, they are copy cats. Stop sharing all the details, you're mapping it out for the next one.
Some people just need to stfu, me included, so end of rant.
Reason #1) I don't want my vagina ripped open.
Reason #2) I also don't want my ass ripped open (yes, it happens).
Reason #3) I like how my boobs and knees are not familiar with each other.
Reason#4) Tickle Me Elmo
For my first laugh of the day.
older woman on the phone: Yah I want to give a shout out to my bf in prison
dj: oh really what prison?
older woman: Gatesville
me: omg, this woman is being serious, this radio station is so ghetto
dj: so when does he get out?
older woman: Feb
dj: oh so not too long until he gets out, how long has he been in there?
older woman: 8 years
me: omg this woman is stupid
dj: 8 YEARS, you've waited for him that long?
older woman: well no, actually I met him when he was already in prison
me: omg I totally see this in my future
dj: Well good luck with that, I mean once he gets out Im sure that relationship will work out really well. All relationships like this turn out to be really healthy and long. Good for you.
older woman: Yes, it will, I hope so.
me: This woman really believes this. Wow.
my morning prayer:
Dear God,
I know that Im really bad, I know Im a sinner, I know I've fucked up a lot of relationships. God please don't let me become "older woman."
love you,
Emma
Im all over the place today but some important things need to be added:
nice guy: (on the way to beer pong) I had dinner with my EX's Dad today.
me: That's weird
me now: I should have known.
Craziest and I having an adult conversation in the kitchen, NOT FLIRTING or TOUCHING
17 y/o drunk girl: So did you fuck him yet?
me in my head: Im gonna beat her ass
me: THAT'S how I knew you were 17 the minute you walked.
17 y/o drunk girl: Gets a dumb look on her face and can't believe I just said that, goes outside to tell the guys that Im a bitch.
Guys: 17 y/o drunk said you were a bitch.
me: Yeah I already knew that, they don't call me #1 bitch for nothing
So people keep lying to me and tell me that there is someone out there for me and that nice guys REALLY do exist. Liars. Last night I almost didn't make it to beer pong because well as much as that type of game excites others, Im just not that interested. However it was an opportunity to hang out with two guys who were very important to my hs experience and well they are just too much fun. However, most importantly they are "nice" guys. Remember the guy that I talked about on my blog yesterday? The one that college did a lot of good to, the one that I had great conversation with, the one that professed his love for me at the end of the night. Remember him? Well over drinks the other night he told Arlette and I how he had just gotten out of a long relationship and that the reason it happened was because his ex gave him the ultimatum of you marry me or we break up. Stupid girl. So of course he says he broke it off. Luckily it seems that in the past few months I've grown up quite a bit and I can resist guys Im attracted to, I have been able to act cool, not to kiss them right away, and not to jump into things too fast. Thank God for that, its turning out to work out pretty well. I mean I am doing this sober and not so sober, now that ladies and gentlemen is a sign that I am quite possibly becoming an adult. A responsible adult, an adult who can control attraction, hormones, who thinks before she acts. Now where was this a year ago? I really could have used that back then, but I guess this new found maturity is coming from losing the one thing I really want back. That experience as horrible as it was and as much as it haunts me, has made me a better person. Now if only HE could see that. So what I was getting to is that last night when I hung out with this super nice guy, who had just broken up with his gf, I find out the truth. Even though last night he told me he liked me, and it wasn't about sex. It was. The craziest guy in the world (host of beer pong) told me that this guy just needed to get laid. How do I find out that this SUPER nice guy still has this gf?
me: is he on the phone with his ex?
craziest: his soon to be fiance actually
me: what?
craziest: yeah she gave him some crazy ultimatum and he's just too nice, he really needs to get laid
me in my head: So glad I didn't kiss last night
me in my head: BUT this is one of the nicest guys in the world
me in my head: See Emma there are no nice guys left out there
me in my head: He's for sure not getting any from me
me in my head: He's an asshole
me in my head: All guys are assholes
The whole beer pong thing just isn't for me, neither are house parties. Being the only female in the room I knew right away that the two girls that walked in were underage, Im thinking 18-20 or so, no my friends they were 17. I guess I should have figured with the way they shrieked and acted like lesbians. Attention whores are just so not pretty, I mean don't get me wrong Im an attention whore, but a sophisticated one. Hah. So I proceed to tell "nice guy" that damn I hate shrieky girls, and how gross it is that they are 17. Every single guy in that room concludes that,"Hey 17 is legal in TX." So the flirting continues and Im more annoyed. This was a good thing since I didn't want to be hit on by these guys anyway. However I did inform Craziest that well it is illegal to distribute alcohol to minors, at which point he got nervous and the girls did end up leaving. I was tired from my previous night of 3 hrs of sleep and well I fell asleep on the lazy boy, I get woken up at 4 a.m. and "nice guy" is spending the night. Wtf? He was supposed to take me home, you really are a complete asshole. Stupid, naive me still can't believe it. I mean I've known him for 9 years and in my mind he was that one person that just couldn't be any nicer. Im telling you penis = asshole. However, Craziest came through and took me home and here I am at work, having just thrown up, and on two hours of sleep. I know what you're thinking, Emma you weren't so mature last night you played beer pong and threw up at work today. However, let me remind you that I am in the process of maturing. You're also probably thinking, that there are nice guys left because Craziest took you home at 4 a.m.
Well yes he did, but not before hitting on me and then later confessing that he's trying to get this girl he wants to marry to move here but she won't. All I have to say is where the hell is 5 p.m.?
