Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Message to the guy who rejected me

I get that you're trying to be funny, and get a rise out of me. I personally don't know what you gain from it, and I will never begin to understand that type of childish behavior.

I do not find it appropriate that you joke about Matt or Ben towards me, especially not in front of other people. I have never expressed to anyone that I like Matt and even if I did that is none of your business.

I believe your humor puts others in ridicule and while some may find that funny I do not. So I would appreciate if you would keep my name from coming out of your mouth.

You are nothing more than an acquaintance to me. I do not know you enough to partake in such humor with you. I understand if you're trying to be funny and I'm taking things too seriously, I do not disregard that. However, I do not feel you know me well enough to talk to me like that. Especially not in front of others. I feel very disrespected and while you don't care, I do.

So if you are going to continue this type of behavior towards me I would appreciate you just don't speak to me and especially do not speak of me.



Monday, January 01, 2007

The first one is a sad one

Sorry I've been MIA but I've been so incredibly busy with the family visiting. Today is my first day back home since Christmas and this feeling of nostalgia is all over me.

I tend to forget why I hate New Years so much, but I was quickly slapped in the face with that at midnight last night. This is the second year in a row I've been alone on New Years. I should have wrangled up a date, but where? I have been having the dry spell from hell.

First of all Dentist never called and I decided not to go visit Midland. I wanted to cry so badly when everyone around me was bringing in the new year with a kiss, the feeling of loneliness overwhelmed me.

I am not a needy person but today I just want someone to care for. I know he will come when I least expect it, but Jesus could you just hurry up a little bit?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

diverted path

I saw a piece of myself in you today. One piece. A miniscule piece. Most would find satisfaction in that. I'm never most, especially not when it comes to you. Seeing me wallow in my inadequacies is how you acquire gratification. I am the source of all your strenght.

Your lies do not betray me. I will go foward in sustaining them. I do this for you, the world revolves around you. I can't have my world stop. What would happen to you then?

You're the worst kind. You almost believe the tall tale which you've written. One by one they will fall and I will be there to hold the blame. I will take on that cowardly face because your frailty is my problem.

It's all mine. So give my little piece back, after all it never belonged there in the first place.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Christmas came early

Do you know who came into town today?

Well, yes my cousin, aunt and friend did BUT also, DENTIST!

He's in Austin, no I haven't seen him or talked to him yet but I could anytime I wanted to. I still remember where he lives from when we dated in highschool and if I have problems picking out the exact house all I have to do is bring along my prom pictures that were taken in front of his house. But I would NEVER do that, I'm not THAT psycho.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I'm a playa on the Internet

Last night I was having a late night conversation via Myspace with the guy who rejected me, at the exact same time I was having a conversation with his best friend. The best part is that at the time they were only separated by bedroom walls.

The guy who rejected me continues to flirt and since I've caught on to his little game he doesn't have the upper hand anymore. I've been really brutal in shutting him down. He predictably responds by trying to call me out on my shit, only it's not shit, it's damn real. I mean it when I say I don't like him and that no I don't want to go out on a date with his fat ass roomate. I don't care if this is the season for giving, I'll give him a big fat kick in the balls if he keeps it up. I take pity on no one.

His best friend has really grown on me though. He's a very sweet, quiet and nerdy guy. Well, Hello! I love nerds. Perfect. Only I have to be very careful in what I say or do cause who knows what the loser who rejected me has said about me to him. In the meanwhile we hang out and talk Sci-Fi and Psychology. I hate Sci-Fi, it makes me want to poke my eyes out but being a playa is all about impressing, even if you have to fake it a little bit.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Busy as a Bee!

So I've been having rehersals for our Christmas production at Church every single night til 1 a.m.

We also have about 10 people, NO JOKE, coming to stay with us for Christmas which prompted my Mom to finally let me re-decorate my room. So there is no time for blogging and I'm sorry.

I'll be completely free after Sunday, and might I remind you that I start drinking again on the 21st? Yeah, didn't think so. That's like next week, mexican martinis anyone?

Love you Internet.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Dear Parents that I love so much,

Stop stealing my car! I know that you are also aware that I have no social life, but sometimes I make plans.

Sorry Snippy!

Remember when I was 16 and you'd hide the keys from me because I was in trouble? Yeah, remember? Well I'm going to start doing that to you guys. Only if I do I end up being the selfish, spoiled, brat anyway.

The only reason I'd ever have kids is so that for once I could always be right.