The things I forgot

Im all over the place today but some important things need to be added:


nice guy: (on the way to beer pong) I had dinner with my EX's Dad today.
me: That's weird
me now: I should have known.

Craziest and I having an adult conversation in the kitchen, NOT FLIRTING or TOUCHING
17 y/o drunk girl: So did you fuck him yet?
me in my head: Im gonna beat her ass
me: THAT'S how I knew you were 17 the minute you walked.
17 y/o drunk girl: Gets a dumb look on her face and can't believe I just said that, goes outside to tell the guys that Im a bitch.
Guys: 17 y/o drunk said you were a bitch.
me: Yeah I already knew that, they don't call me #1 bitch for nothing