Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Mmmm, sweet carpet lovin'

The pressure man, it will make you bust your ass. No, seriously.

So Snippy told me yesterday that I was funny and I was all like, "Omg, I must be really funny cause Snippy told me so."

I mean if you haven't read Snippy's blog you should because she is super duper funny. Snippy is so funny that I seriously ROFL when I read her stuff. She's so funny I roll around and make out with the floor cause damn that was fucking hilarious. Snippy is even funny in real life too, especially when she gets all frustrated because she drank too much and she can't pitch in a perfectly straight line. (remind me to post the video)

Snippy is even funny when she tells me to STFU because I talk too much, normally if you tell me to STFU I'll kick you in the balls or vagina if you lack them. So you get the point right? Snippy is funny.

So Snippy tells me that Im funny and today Im like man I need to post something funny, because Dude I want to make Snippy laugh today. (Snippy hates it when I say Dude)

But today internet, today, is the most unfunny* day ever. So there I was all bummed out because I have nothing funny to write about today and now Snippy isnt't going to think Im funny anymore and then the sky will fall and then all of humanity will cease to exist. Not to mention that having nothing funny to write about also makes for a really gramatically atrocious post.

But then internet, then, I walk out the elevator and then I make out with the brand new shiny tile floor and then people laugh while helping me up. So instead of being all mortified and hiding underneath my desk, I start LMFAO and I start to run to my desk because man that was so fucking funny and I need to blog about it so Snippy can really see that Im funny.

And as I am a few inches away from my desk my heel gets caught in a snag in the carpet and I make out with the old carpet floor by my desk.

And then I heard the desk floor tell the hallway floor man that slut sure does get around and I told the floor , " to STFU Im trying to blog about this so Snippy doesn't forget Im funny."

eta: Yes, I talk to floors. Hello, I also make out with floors. I have a strict policy of requiring everyone I make out with to be able to hold a decent conversation and honestly the floors do a lot better than most guys.

*Yes, I made up a word.


Snippy said...

WHEW! Good save! I totally would have lost all respect for your funny if you wouldn't have been funny today. *wipes brow*

(and, actually, I overuse "dude", so keep saying it, it makes me feel better)

Anonymous said...

Carpet Muncher!