Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Root of all that is good

Kicking them to the curb:

1) Midland
2) Drinking (only for two months, maybe three, but still)
3) Sex (until I get a boyfriend of course, but STILL)
4) Dating (I guess until a boy aks me out on a date)

I grew up in a very Chrisitian home. My parents are pastors. All my life my parents have instructed me in the ways of God aka no drinking, no sex, no cussing, etc. So basically no fun, or so I thought.

I went out Salsa dancing this weekend, in a bar, and didn't drink. I had a blast. I haven't laughed like I laughed in that night in forever, got a great work out, remember everything and even better I didn't wake up with a hangover.

I guess what Im trying to say is that maybe this whole going to church thing isn't such a bad idea. Even though I told you guys I was going to church to see this guy, once I got there I realized how much I've missed it and how much I needed it. God, got me back there one way or another. He knows me so well he knew it would take a boy to do it. The funny thing is Church Boy wasn't even there.

I have never stopped believe in God, there is nothing in this world that would make me doubt his existence, his love for me, his power. NOTHING. Despite of my "sinning" ways God has never made me feel guilty or condemned. The only people who have ever made me feel that way are my parents, so why did I choose to turn my back on God?

My relationship with God is not about going to church, about church music, reading The Bible, and most importantly it's not to make my parents happy. My relationship with God is for me.

Im sitting at work right now listening to worship music, and you know what? Im having a GREAT day just like I did yesterday. Im not going to stop listening to regular music, or going to clubs, bars, Im not going to act like a saint. The last thing I am is a Saint. Im also not going to be a Bible beater. This is between God and I. Im worrying about my relationship with him, not yours. That's up to you.

However, I am going to welcome God back in my life. Im going to go to Church, listen to Christian music more often, and really think out my actions. The happiest time of my life was my childhood, when I trusted and believed in God with all my heart.

I know that if I change my ways just a little bit, I will begin to see positive change. A much needed change, and I know good things will come my way. I know God loves me that much. I know he's the only one who will look past every mistake that I have made and love me just the same. I know, because I've reached bottom before. When I was looking down at deep bottom, it was my faith in God, and my crying out to him that helped me look deep bottom in the face and say, "I can do this."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Funny, I had the same ephiphany this weekend.