Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Delivered

Remember I promised some crazy stories? Well here are the ones that I can actually write about. Here's the daily recap of my weekend. Enjoy!

Friday:
Got home, put on skinny jeans! (wohoo)
Headed to happy hour joined by Diana and Diego. Arrived at the bar at the Omni ready to spend all sorts of money on getting wasted, but Cat's Dad (who is AWESOME) took care of the tab. See told ya he was awesome, as was the whole family. I did my very best to meet everyone and talk to everyone at happy hour, my faithful friend Pinot helped. I hadn't eaten much at all day on friday and I was slamming down those glasses of Pinot as if I were lost in the dessert and I had found my Oasis. I had some small slices of pizza but it was too late. We proceeded to go up to Cat's room so she could get her hot short skirt on, checked out the amazing view of the hotel room and headed downtown. The downtown crowd was crazy, it included Diego, Diana, Santi, Cat, Stephanie, that really nice couple :), Cat's Dad, Cat's Uncle and "free pass" guy. I don't remember much about downtown other than going to Fabric, after that its pretty much a blurr, the only thing I remember is the walk to the car. Waking up in the back of Diego's truck, attempting to enter the house through the front, then the back, then finally the front again.

Saturday:

I woke up with multiple massive bruises on my arms and foot. My left foot was a bit swollen up top. I joined my Mom and Dad for lunch at a friends house, yumm Conch soup. No, its not cock soup. Its Conch soup, perfect to cure a hangover and its a seafood delicacy. Mom and I went and got pedicures and manicures and I got the shit massaged out of my swollen foot, OUCH. When I got home I was pretty tired from my crazy/blurry friday night so I was sure I wasn't going to go out. I talked to Diana and Santi, heard some scandalous stories about Friday as they refreshed my memory I was happy to find out none of them involved me, phew! Can you imagine how much crazier it would have gotten if I was concious? Apparently there was some crazy salsa dancing, making out, more dirty dancing, cigar smoking, and me passing out on a couch at a gay bar. I shopped with my mother and only bought one thing, crazy huh? My Mom got me some awesome new shoes, I love free stuff. When I got home I curled up in bed with my Shape magazine and a class of water. As soon as I was about to enjoy some much needed sleep Diego called and said he was headed downtown with MC. MC is awesome, I love that guy. Anytime he can get away from Psycho aka Baby Momma and goes downtown, its a blast. MC had all his guys with him and we went to Shakespeares and Maggie Mae's. I took it easy only having two beers and a shot with Victor at Shakespeares. At Maggie Mae's one of MC's friends asked me if I wanted a beer and he and I talked for a while. He seemed like a really nice guy, not hot, but cute. I was excited to know that I was going to do some post DT drinking with them but Diego wasn't feeling good and decided to go home :(
Yeah he cut off my game, I already told him that the same thing is going to happen to him next time he's with me and he's got something going on, jerk. So I didn't get this guy's number or anything, but oh well its probably a good thing since he's MCs friend.

Sunday: THE WEDDING

Picture this: little black dress, big boobs, lace up back, hot silver heels, voliminous brown hair down, and 10 pounds less. Yes that was me on sunday, it was hot. Santi even checked me out before he knew it was me, yeah I looked so hot I almost turned
Santisha straight. Diego and I got there 5 mins before 3 right as Santi was walking to the church. We got to sit together at the church and gossip check out the other guests. It was a good looking wedding, everything was absolutely beautiful. Much props to Cat and Stephanie. Cat looked absolutely stunning, seeing her walk down the isle made me appreciate our friendship and times together so much. Im going to work really hard to mend that relationship, she and her husband (so weird to say that) are great people. I cried she looked so beautiful. The ceremony was short, sweet, and meaningful. My favorite part: "You may now kiss the groom."
Now that's what Im talking about. After the ceremony we headed over to the reception site at the Omni, and I swear to you they bought the entire cheese supply of France and even better the open bar was fully stocked. I did much better at this open bar, not to worry. I didn't want to be "that one girl that danced on top of the tables and passed out on the cake at the wedding." Instead I was a much classier,"that one girl that was dancing like a stripper at the wedding."
Yes, this wedding was awesome ladies and gentlemen. There was dirty dancing, drinking, some more dirty dancing and even more drinking. I dirtied it up with the whole wedding, the brides underage brother included. The dinner was great, even though I only had two bites because there was much dancing and socializing to do. I talked to everyone at that wedding, even Cat's crazy mother in law. All I have to say is I could appreciate where she was coming from after all we're from neighboring countries and well us central american women we have a bit of a strong personality, you can call it psycho, I call it strong. She was a lot a little more pyscho then me. No problem, Stephanie had scissors and vodka on hand. The bride only hyperventilated once at which point I came out of the bathroom after calming her down threatening to stick my foot up everyone's ass if they didn't dance. I salsaed, countryd, hip hopped, swinged (no not like that), and taught everyone to keep their hips from lying. I didn't eat cake, didn't attempt ot catch the bouquet (thank God cause Stephanie would have tackled me), however I did stick my hand up a donkey's ass. Don't worry it was a donkey piƱata full of little bottles of liquor, Santi and I took enough of them to stock a whole bar and stuffed my purse with them. Once Stephanie had the DJ dancing and the hotel ran out of alcohol we headed downtown to continue the crazyness. We actually were pretty mellow with the exception of Santisha who drank my whole purse out of small liquor bottles, yeah that wine he was drinking brought out his finest mexican side crazy accent and all. He proceeded to tell us he was leaving four times, only to come back to tell me and I quote:
"I cans finde da e buus."

Mission accomplished, the crazyness I promised happened and once again I delivered.

If you don't believe that this madness occured here's more proof:

Santi

Snippy

1 comment:

velvetsaje said...

"Emma, I need to go home Emma"

Minutes later.

"Order me another coke for that rum"