Thursday, November 30, 2006

Free

I fully intended for this blog to be all about the work or lack of situation. I was going to explain to you guys why my blogs have been so short, lacking content and even more boring than usual. I was going to tell you how my life has been consumed by stress, anger and hate. I was going to share that I finally know what it's like to detest getting up in the mornings. I can't.

A rainy drive home helped me decide that last night. It was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. I felt so close to God at that moment that it made me ashamed of how ungrateful and pouty I have been over the past few weeks. So what if I hate my job? So what if my boss makes me want to rip my hair out and jump of a building? So what? I'm healthy, I have a roof over my head, a family that adores me and friends who support me in my madness.

This drive took place on the road that my Brother has his accident on, I am petrified by that road. I hate to drive on it, but I do, because it's very central to were I live. When this road is wet it is deadly, causing many accidents, my brother's included. So at midnight last night in the pouring rain I turned off the music, turned on my high beams and drove 30 miles per hour. When I looked up the high beams light up the sky. I could see the wind melodically hugging the rain as it poured over me. The sky opened up like a giant faucet and I was cleansed.

In that moment all my worries, stress, and sadness was washed away . Tears started rolling down my face while I smiled and I thanked God for the very place I am at in my life right now. It's not what I saw coming but it's what was meant to happen. I have peace that I will get to my destiny even if it means taking a different path towards it.

It's so fitting that this is my last Nablopomo entry, because it amazes me how much can change in a month. Im free of the burden that was my job, I'm free from alcohol, free from feeling lonely, sad and depressed, but most of all I am free from this blog.

2 comments:

Tbone Stallone said...

Goodbye, nice to know you

slopmaster said...

Wow, I know exactly what you're talking about. I want some!