I'm a playa on the Internet

Last night I was having a late night conversation via Myspace with the guy who rejected me, at the exact same time I was having a conversation with his best friend. The best part is that at the time they were only separated by bedroom walls.

The guy who rejected me continues to flirt and since I've caught on to his little game he doesn't have the upper hand anymore. I've been really brutal in shutting him down. He predictably responds by trying to call me out on my shit, only it's not shit, it's damn real. I mean it when I say I don't like him and that no I don't want to go out on a date with his fat ass roomate. I don't care if this is the season for giving, I'll give him a big fat kick in the balls if he keeps it up. I take pity on no one.


His best friend has really grown on me though. He's a very sweet, quiet and nerdy guy. Well, Hello! I love nerds. Perfect. Only I have to be very careful in what I say or do cause who knows what the loser who rejected me has said about me to him. In the meanwhile we hang out and talk Sci-Fi and Psychology. I hate Sci-Fi, it makes me want to poke my eyes out but being a playa is all about impressing, even if you have to fake it a little bit.

Let's keep this between you and me

I have a confession to make. I actually don't miss drinking that much. There has been a lot of good to come out of it. GASP!

I know I bitch about it a lot. Like all the time on here. However, Internet it's really not that bad. Hangovers are thankfully a thing of the past and well not throwing up, that's also a plus too. Although you know I could afford to lose a few pounds, KIDDING!

All those boys whose phone numbers are in my cell phone, well I think their life is now better too. I'm pretty sure that they don't miss my late drunk dials and text messages, especially on weeknights. That's right I'm making the world a better place with one less drunk dial at a time.

I've saved money. Lots of money, money that buys me designer jeans and makeup and shoes and belts and Starbucks, OH MY! My ass looking like a million bucks feels way better than any buzz that a Long Island ever gave me. (OK, yeah that's lie) It's close though, really really close.

You know what is better than being drunk though? Now my daily routine of saying good-bye to my Mother before I leave the house is sweeter than it's ever been. When I give her a kiss and hug good-bye every morning now, I see pride in her eyes. My Mother is proud of me. I know that we're not supposed to get fulfillment from someone Else's approval of us, but knowing my Mom is proud of me without her having to say it. Well, it fills my heart up so much it could burst. She's my new best friend, the person I spend the most time with. I enjoy it, I love it. We have conversations not fights, arguments or lectures.

My partying has been hard on my Mother, she worried about me a lot. I have taken away years of her life. I know it. I could see it. I didn't care, getting stupid drunk was much more important. How selfishly disgusting of me, because taking life away from the being who gave me life wasn't enough. It's wrong in so many ways, and I didn't care. The night my Brother was in his car accident my Mom was awakened suddenly and she felt she needed to pray for me. The exact night, she had a feeling I would be the one to have something bad happen to me because of my drinking. She got up and she prayed, for me. I believe God listened to her because I was at home safe in my apartment that early morning. How horrible is it to know you're the child that your Mother worries the most about?

Confession #2. I have betrayed my Mother, twice. No need to go into details but most parents would have turned me away. My Mother, she embraced me harder after she poured out endless tears before me. To see your Mother break down because of you, it rips your soul out and I DESERVE it.

Leaving our house every morning knowing that she is in peace and proud of me, it's worth more than all the alcohol in the this world. More than any drunken moment I've ever had. More than any emotion or feeling that alcohol could ever give me. That feeling is worth more than anything in this world. That feeling is so good I could die happy today. I have no regrets, I live in peace.

Being truly content is not only about my Mother. It's about no longer needing to hear or feel the touch of another, because as you know I not only dialed drunk, but I dialed sober. I am so happy that I am now willing to recognize that I used to seek physical and emotional touch from others to mask loneliness and sadness. Confession #3 I suffered from depression.

I'm so truly content now that I am willing to admit it.

Now I'm sure you're waiting for confession #4 to be that I am an alcoholic. HAH. Does this look like AA to you? No twelve step program here. I don't need one. My faults and depression can't be blamed on alcohol, all of that is on me. I never drank enough to blame it on alcohol.

Also if I was an alcoholic I could never drink again and seriously I can't give up drinking and being slutty all together. Then what would I blog about? That's right Internet Im a drunken slut just for you.

Seriously though, drinking it matters. That's why I said I don't miss it THAT much.

Keep your hands to yourself

My little habit of not leaving things alone, yeah it's going to catch up to me pretty soon. How embarrasing. I hope that he keeps his mouth shout about what I said to him, although I just found out today this boy doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

Neither do I.

Most of the time when I get around cute boys I become 13 all over again. I get giggly and stupid. I finally learned how to stop drooling. Shameless flirting is not under control though. Keeping the mouth shut? Also not under control.

I will let you guys know later if someone decides to keep their mouth shut. Here's to hoping.

But Dude, "I Put Out."

Sloppy wrote a list of why he's such an eligible bachelor, the dude says he has, "10 inches of uncircumcised fun." Pretty impressive, eh?

So his little list got me thinking, man Im single and Im a good catch too, so here is my list of why Im such good girlfriend material:

- Im funny, I mean hello have you read my blog?
(ok so maybe Im not hilarious but I'll look pretty sitting right next to you)

- Im foreign

(so I've lived here for 15 years and I have no accent, I also sound like a valley girl sometimes but hey at least I already have my green card)

- I take good care of my appereance

(I will also always make you late because of this, at least an hour, but did I mention Id look good?)

- My Mom is hot

(you know that whole thing about look at a girl's Mom to see what she's going to look like in the future)

-Im intelligent

(ok more of a smartass, but you know guys love it when girls talk shit right?)

- I love beer

- I cuss

- Im perverted

(Yeah I promise Im not a dike, seriously, I like penises)

- I can turn my alcoholism on and off

(that's right I'll make your parents think im normal)

- Im not clingy

(you don't ever have to worry about me being outside your bedroom window)

- I know when to shut up

(Well, I will once you tell me to. Although I might slap you right before, but I'll shut up. )

- I am fluent in spanish

(this will come in handy when you're trying to make that drug deal with the Colombian drug lords, or when you have to tell your gardener how you want your bushes trimmed)

- I can cook

(Im also a really messy cook, and you're damn right Im going to make you wash the dishes)

- I won't make you go shopping with me.

(Just hand me your credit card and that will make up for your absence)

- I will watch sports with you.

(I will even pretend that Im actually enjoying them)

- I don't get jealous.

(this means you can't get jealous either)

- You can have all the boys night outs you want.

(but just so you know Im going to be on a girls night out and those get pretty wild)


- Im bossy.

(but guys like that whole domination thing right?)


Im also pretty clever.

I just made you eligible bachelors read this whole list, when really I could just have saved you time and told you that I put out.

Because really, I do. Like a lot. Like I wear most men out, a lot. And really isn't that the best quality a girl can have?

If you find yourself saying, " No Emma sex isn't everything."

Well then you're either

1) A liar
2) Haven't been serviced by me.

Im just saying let's cut out all that qualities, schmalities b.s. and get down to what really matters, cause really I could go for some sex right now.

How to make an ass of yourself three times in one day:

When someone at your place of employment asks you for extra badge that you borrowed, reach into your purse and pull out your cup enhancer bra insert instead of the badge.

Because really I mean it would make sense to dig into the deep dark black hole that is your purse and feel your boob enhancer because really the squishy foamy thing feels just like the hard plastic square thing. So yeah it totally makes sense to pull it out.

Most importantly when you show the person at your place of employment that you enhance your boob size you have to say, "Man, I've been looking for this."

No, seriously, I have looked like everywhere for that boob enhancer cup. I've been missing one for months, so my boobs have lacked enhancing. Not good. I should have known it was at the bottom of my purse, I mean think about it it makes sense. Im pretty sure the bottom of my purse was the hidding spot I found when I had to take the cup enhancers out before I let some guy feel me up. Ladies you have to take out boob enhancers out of the bra before you get felt up. You can't have men knowing that we cheat a lot little to get their attention.

It also totally makes sense to carry around cup enhancer bra inserts in your purse for months and months. No, seriously you never know when you will need a little enhancement of the boobs to you know well get something or someone you want. Really it makes sense.

The lack of boob enhancers: The reason I haven't gotten any in months.

Mmmm, sweet carpet lovin'

The pressure man, it will make you bust your ass. No, seriously.

So Snippy told me yesterday that I was funny and I was all like, "Omg, I must be really funny cause Snippy told me so."

I mean if you haven't read Snippy's blog you should because she is super duper funny. Snippy is so funny that I seriously ROFL when I read her stuff. She's so funny I roll around and make out with the floor cause damn that was fucking hilarious. Snippy is even funny in real life too, especially when she gets all frustrated because she drank too much and she can't pitch in a perfectly straight line. (remind me to post the video)

Snippy is even funny when she tells me to STFU because I talk too much, normally if you tell me to STFU I'll kick you in the balls or vagina if you lack them. So you get the point right? Snippy is funny.

So Snippy tells me that Im funny and today Im like man I need to post something funny, because Dude I want to make Snippy laugh today. (Snippy hates it when I say Dude)

But today internet, today, is the most unfunny* day ever. So there I was all bummed out because I have nothing funny to write about today and now Snippy isnt't going to think Im funny anymore and then the sky will fall and then all of humanity will cease to exist. Not to mention that having nothing funny to write about also makes for a really gramatically atrocious post.

But then internet, then, I walk out the elevator and then I make out with the brand new shiny tile floor and then people laugh while helping me up. So instead of being all mortified and hiding underneath my desk, I start LMFAO and I start to run to my desk because man that was so fucking funny and I need to blog about it so Snippy can really see that Im funny.

And as I am a few inches away from my desk my heel gets caught in a snag in the carpet and I make out with the old carpet floor by my desk.

And then I heard the desk floor tell the hallway floor man that slut sure does get around and I told the floor , " to STFU Im trying to blog about this so Snippy doesn't forget Im funny."


eta: Yes, I talk to floors. Hello, I also make out with floors. I have a strict policy of requiring everyone I make out with to be able to hold a decent conversation and honestly the floors do a lot better than most guys.


*Yes, I made up a word.

Reason #5065 Why Im going to hell

Im going to attend to church services tomorrow.

No not to repent, to lust over one of the guitar players.

I can't help it, he's got the prettiest blue eyes, he salsa danced with me all night long , he gave me a piggy back ride (and Im a pig, so this is no easy task), he took care of my knee when there was blood gushing out of it, but most of all he made me laugh. Like a lot.

Before you go telling me that Im a horrible person because I have plans of corrupting him, let me tell you he made me laugh, like a lot, because he made a joke about balls.

Not like balls for sports, but balls for sperm storage. The joke wasn't just about any sperm storage balls, it was a joke about sperm storage balls with elephantitis.

And with that he made his way right into my little heart because not only are jokes about balls that store sperm super funny, but they're even funnier when they are about abnormally large sperm storage balls.

Damn his Mom for walking in on us

That is my hot Prom date. We've been talking a lot. He dumped me hard core after prom. I took embarrasment for that guy, his Mom caught us making out, it was all down hill from there. We were laughing so hard about it today.

He's such an awesome guy though. Im crushing on him like I was in HS. Oh the butterflies. The only problem is he is in FL. The REALLY GOOD THING, he is in FL in Dental school. The even better thing his parents LOVE me.

NO seriously his Mom would talk to me more on the phone then he would. When my Brother needed serious dental work after his accident FOUR years later his Dad performed all of it for free, cause his Mom LOVES me.

But the ALMOST VERY BEST thing, is he is even hotter now than he was back then and we have a date for drinks when he comes back for Xmas.

Because we can all agree by looking at those pictures that THE VERY BEST THING is that the whole, I have highlights that make my head look like a whole flock of pigeons took big fat shits on me is NOT HOT ANYMORE.

So in conclusion kids:

Operation: Shakira is now Operation: Make Dentist fall in love with me

And this time if his Mom walks in when we're making out, Im going to tell her to please turn off the lights and shut the door. HAHA.

Saturday Nights At Vicci

Go there if you'd like to meet every single man I've had sex dated in the last ten months.

Panama was there. He came to say hi, he was drunk. I ignored him, but why, why did he have to kiss my cheek?

Why did he have to come bump into me while he was dancing and give me that sexy look?

His friends also came and said hi. Why were they upset that I walked right past them and I didn't say hi? Hello, maybe because you're friend is a fucker.


Also in attendance was Colombia. Who waved and I didn't even wave back to. Apparently me hanging up on him last week and erasing his number off my phone means nothing to him, but whatever.


Most importantly ladies and gentlemen in attendance was that new boy. We'll call him UT. He's a 21 y/o mechanical engineering major at UT. He's in love with me, really the boy doesn't know any better.

He just happened to be there with his friends and I managed to avoid him most of the night, but it was actually pleasant when I ran into him. He's very sweet and he makes me feel sexy. That's nice.

We went out on a nice date Sunday and although I don't see anything serious happening with him, Im glad I have someone who I can spend time with cuddling. It feels good.

13 Is the best age ever

Seriously. I know I didn't think 13 was that fabulous when I was actually 13. Let me tell you though last night I went back in time and became the giggly, won't stop talking, boy crazy girl who thinks rock-stars are the coolest thing alive all over again. Believe me internet, it was too fun for words. You too can experience this with the help of 5 beers, trust me its F-U-N FUN!


So yesterday I told you that I was going to go see Augustana and that I was totally going to geek out cause they're awesome and I got the name of this blog cause of them, and their music is awesome and blah blah blah.

First of all I had great company: Diana, Snippy, and beer. Trust me beer is very important in this story because apparently you see, I talk a lot . Actually according to Snippy, " Like, think about how much you think is a lot and then multiply it by 4,000 and that’s half as much as Emma talks. For real."

Well, take what Snippy said and mutliply it by like a million when I've had beer and THAT's how much I talked last night, I know, I know it's a concert but you don't understand how awesome last night was. First we get to the Parish and the doors aren't open. Diana and I are starving so we decided to go to Jazz's and sit down while we wait for the doors to open so we can buy tickets. Diana is on her cell next to me and I walk up to the bar not even looking to see if there is room for her, cause Im stupid like that and this shaggy guy in a cap and red shirt asks me, If I want him to move to the other side of the bar so Diana and I could sit together.

I of course told him, "No."
I explained to him, "That Im stupid and spaced out and I wasn't looking and that I would gladly sit at the part of the bar that had more then one stool."

The waitress says something to Shaggy about his tab and he says Im with the band and then I realized omg that guy IS in the band and omg he was so nice to me, and he talked to me and I want to do him and have his babies and all that other stuff.

So I tell Diana who is now off her cell phone that OMG, that guy is with the band. So she geeks out too and we make small talk with him and you guys don't understand he was SO NICE. He told us how much he liked Austin how Austin was so much better than Dallas and I of course start telling him how much I love their music. Even better I told him that omg I write this stupid blog and that I got the title of it from their lyrics of Boston, cause that's my favorite song of theirs. I know, I know BUT I told you guys I was going to geek out. So I told him the title of my blog and don't worry I omitted the .blogpsot.com because I really don't want him to read this. Not that he would but anyway.

At this point one of the guys that works in the restaurant informs us that the show is sold out so I of course freak out, because you DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO SEE THIS BAND. The waitress hears me freaking out and informs me that she's going to find out what she can do because I mean we're sitting with the keyboardist and well we should get to see the show. So our waitress informs us that she went to the guy at the door and she got us on the list so we could see the show for FREE! I mean I was contemplating how exactly I was going to present my indecent proposal to the keyboardist so I could get in, but don't worry internet I didn't have to prostitute myself.

Yes, this is going to be a long blog. So sit tight, or you know don't read it, whatever.

Well, we got on the list but it was only for two and since Snippy was coming I went outside 10 before 8 to get her a ticket because the manager of the Parish informed me that there were plenty of tickets left. While standing in line I managed to make friends with a very nice girl named Courtney who happened to be a stewardess and her pilot friend John who happened to be very hot. Did I mention that he was a pilot? She was talking about how awesome the band was, and how great her job was and I was pretending to pay attention. Only I was really just trying to see if her and the pilot were together and I say they weren't so I was automatically in love. Panama who?

I got the ticket and went back to Diana to eat at which point Snippy shows up and I start talking and talking and talking about everything that just happened. I have another beer and then Snippy decides that Im crazy. Im not gonna deny it.

We finally made it up to the Parish and the opening act haven't started yet and it was already 9:15 p.m.
So I introduced Diana and Snippy to my new friend and I continued to try and figure out if Pilot was with Stewardess. Diana got a vibe that they were but I still say no they weren't together. So the opening act went up and they were good and I found out that the bar had my favorite beer, Sierra Nevada, so I managed to have two more plus a corona before that.

Augustana finally came on and they were beyond amazing or at least the first part of it was because I didn't really hear the rest, but only because apparently I like to hear myself talk more.

See this is what happened:

Diana tells me that she sees Pilot standing all by himself in the back and I think that's totally awesome cause this is my chance to be able to join the mile high club in the actual pilot's cabin. So after I smoothly make a stop at the bathroom I went and stood right next to Pilot and said, "Hey why are you standing all by yourself over here?"

Pilot then says, "Actually, this is my friend right over here."
So I say, "Oh that's nice Pilot." Only at this point I actually looked at Pilots face and realized that, OMG THIS GUY ISN'T PILOT!
I know you're thinking this is what happens when you drink and this type of thing only happens to me but damn. Diana pointed him out and she only had two beers and I had five so Im excused. Seriously though this guy was kinda short too just like pilot, he had short dark hair just like pilot and he was wearing THE EXACT SAME THING that pilot was wearing. I mean he even had the same flip flops as Pilot.

So here I am in this dilemma of how do I walk away? What do I say? Do I act cool and not tell him how big of a dumbass I was?

Then I decided that you know what? This guy that isn't Pilot is kind of cute so I decide to tell him the whole I thought you were Pilot story. I kept on telling him that seriously, I didn't mean to hit on him and that I really thought he was pilot. At first I think he might have been a little offended, or just didn't believe me. So I offered of course to buy him a beer cause Im a dumbass.

So we got the beer and we stayed at the end of the bar away from the show, with Augustana playing in the background. I talked and talked and talked. I found out so much about him in that 30 mins we were talking, he's from California, he just moved to Austin, he loves it here, he went to UCLA, lives in South Austin and he's smart. The guy had books in the bar! He didn't mean to bring them but they just happened to walk by and they wanted to check out the band, so he didn't have anywhere to put his books. I like this guy. Now remember how I said that I had 5 beers? Well Im pretty sure the one I had with him makes six and honestly I know I talked WAY TOO MUCH to this guy. However, he gave me his number and now I have to wait to call him, so we'll see.


Honestly though, how awesome was my night? So perhaps my new tales will include Cali and not Panama. Cause really Im done with Panama, boys south of the border just plain piss me off. Cali's Mom is from spain though so we're not leaving the spanish culture completely behind. Yes I might be in love with another boy, I mean I know you think Im stupid because that's three boys in one night plus an entire band. But man I was 13 last night!

The moral of the story: 13 wasn't that much fun because when I was actually 13 I never had 6 beers in me.

We had "the talk"

So last night I decided to head over to Panama's after Arlette's good bye dinner to well-you know.

We were cuddling and I decided to have the talk about what exactly it is that we're doing here, because I hate playing games and we need to just get this out of the way. At first he was hesitant to say anything but I had to put my foot down and tell him, look Dude I don't care what you have to say, if you never call me because I freak you out, just say what you have to say. Im not going to be sad much less shed a tear if you never talk to me again because we had "the talk."

So Panama informs me he was in a really long relationship about a year ago, and that's all over and she's moved on and he's over it in the sense that he knows he can't have her. However, he thinks about her all the time and doesn't see himself getting completely over her anytime soon. I would think this was a cop out for just saying hey you and I are just going to have sex, however what it comes down to is that Panama has a Midland.

You guys know how I feel about Midland and well Im sure my feelings for him aren't going to stop anytime soon, I am willing to move on but only partially. I am not sure what is going to happen with Panama. Honestly, we have great chemistry, he's very sweet to me. We laugh and joke around together a lot. He shows me he cares in little insignificant ways and I do sense he has true respect for me.

Once again we've come to the conclusion that we don't know each other, we want to continue to spend time together and to get to know each other. We'll see what will happen, but as of right now we're both going to just have fun with it. Im completely fine with that because he's chosen my way of honesty rather then beating around the bush. So many guys make things very complicated and I hate that, I made that clear to him. It was great that we were able to clarify things and agree that we're seeking simplicity in this. Who knows where that will take us.

Absence makes the penis heart grow fonder?

I saw Panama last night. He got back from NYC yesterday, I honestly did not expect a call until saturday if that. At 4:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon while I was getting ready to leave work my cell phone started ringing. I was in total shock when Panama was calling.

He was driving home from the aiport and was wondering what I was doing later in the evening. After much I don't have a ride drama I finally was able to take my Mom's car to go see him, we had dinner, good conversation, and well you know the rest.

At dinner we actually mostly talked about my weekend cause he wanted to know how good/bad I was. I told him I was good, in reality what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Like I told him, it really doesn't matter wether I was good or not. We're not together, he didn't like that too much, but Im straight to the point. He and I can have all the fun we want, that's what its all about right?

It was a really good time and Im sure we'll hang out again this weekend, he seemed really happy to see me and well Im sure the three hours he spent with me were a lot more fun then 6 days in NYC.

Proffesional Ball Sucker

Hilarious, but I bet you thought the title of the blog reffered to me, Im good, but I wouldn't call myself a proffesional.

Im so glad no one reads this blog.

Weekend Recap July 21st-23rd

Arlette's Last Weekend in Austin.

I know you guys have been waiting for it, or not, but here it is anyway.

Friday:

I had one goal in mind, to make out with a random guy. I've never done it before and well the #1 reason was really because Panama had warned me repeatedly the night before to be good while he was gone. Hah. Panama has no idea who he was talking to, I was originally planning on behaving on my own but just because HE told me to I decided to do exactly the opposite. If he wants to play games I'll play along, but Im going to play the game better.

I finally convinced Diana to get out some so Diana, Arlette, Marissa and I headed dt. We decided to go to 6th but at some point we decided that Foundation sounded better. We weren't planning on staying at Foundation long, but I made eye contact with a boy, flirted with the boy, and I had found the boy I was going to make out with. I didn't drink too much, but at some point in the night a random guy at the bar bought Arlette and I yager bombs. Santi knows that I always refuse yager bombs, even free yager bombs but I was going to be bad, so I had to go all out.

What the Yager Bomb did:
I got really friendly with Foundation boy, even though I never do that in public. Don't worry no kissing, well just on the cheek.

I didn't want to go home so the Yager Bomb convinced me that Arlette and I should go party with Foundation boy and friends at his place.

Yager Bomb gets me wasted, I pass out.

Yager Bomb makes me forget the previous evening.

Yager Bomb makes me wake up wondering where the hell I am, who's bed Im in?

I finally remember who's bed Im in, but Im alone.

Yager Bomb apparently made me a bitch to the guy, so he got none (this is good), and I made him sleep on the floor of his own room cause, "I sure as hell wasn't going to sleep with a boy I didn't know in his bed."

I know im a bitch, but you have to admit that's pretty damn funny. Oh and yes I capitalized yager bomb, this Yager Bomb had a life of it's own apparently.


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Saturday:

Arlete and I spent all saturday recovering, by going to the mall. I bought a really cute kimono style dress to wear to Vicci that night.

Vicci was great, I flirted shamelessly all night. We scored a lot of free drinks, and in honor of Arlette's last weekend in town I even let uglies buy us drinks. We ended up seeing two of Panama's friends that evening, well actually we saw them at Foundation the night before too. They apparently were trying to avoid us because they were asses. We thought they were nice guys, which is why we talked to them despite of the fact that they are ugly. Oh well at least they'll serve a purpose cause Im sure they will relay to Panama how scandalous I was all weekend.

We ended up meeting a super hot guy from Puerto Rico and his ok looking white guy friend. Since it was Arlette's last weekend in town I let her keep the hot one and I danced with the white boy. They ended up being really nice, and we had a great time dancing with them until they kicked us out of Vicci at 3:30 a.m.

Do you remember how big of a bitch I can be?

We walked out of Vicci and headed straight to the valet stand, only the valet guys were missing, as were all the keys in the valet box. Wtf? Vicci is my reg sat night spot and we always valet park, at 3:30 a.m. the valet guys are still getting cars. So I spotted one of them carrying his red shirt and vest.

So I go up to him pissed and ask where the hell our car is. He asks me what kind of car it is and once I tell him he hands me the keys out of all the other 10 sets he had. He tells me they are closed, and of course I inform him that they must have closed early today because the are NEVER done with valet by this time. I ask him where the car is and he says, somewhere on 3rd st? SOMEWHERE, on 3rd st? Ok yeah that's really helpful, do you know how many grey Honda Civics there are going to be on 3rd st in dt Austin? Do you realize that you just totally bailed out of your job early and that you are pissing off a Honduran woman? In the midsts of me screaming at him I notice that this guy is more drunk than I am. So I ask him if he's drunk, and at this point one of his friends informs me that they're allowed to drink too. Excuse me? IM NOT allowed to drink at my job and Im sitting down at a desk for 8 hours and YOUR FRIEND who is a VALET GUY is ALLOWED to DRINK on his job WHILE DRIVING MY CAR? I asked Valet guy who he is employed with and told him I was going to call monday morning and report him (yes, I did). How dare he drink and drive and get into other people's vehicles and think its perfectly ok, or even normal? I am pretty sure at this point I was about to take off my heels and hit him with them, so the guys were with and Arlette came over and told me to leave it alone and go find the car. They were able to make me go with them but only while I was screaming at the Valet guy the whole way down the fucking street. So we're on 3rd st and at this point I see one Honda Civic, go over to it, NOT IT. Great, this was going to be fun. Walk back to Arlette and the guys inform them that's not our Honda Civic and here comes my knight in shining armor, actually he was wearing a SIX shirt.

So I asked him if he knew were the valet lot for Vicci is, and he says yeah. This guy was so nice that he didn't point to it, or tell us where it was. He took us to it. We finally found the car and I promise I am going to go to SIX this weekend just to see this guy and give him a huge hug and a kiss. I love him.

As Arlette and I are driving home the guys we met at Vicci call and ask us what we were doing, we tell them we are driving home. They ask us where Arlette lives and we it happens that they live in the apt complex right across the st. They offered alochol and of course we said yes. It was a very mellow, low key, but fun time. We talked, well actually they made fun of how spicy, crazy, and latina I had gotten. I did get very latina, but damn I had a good fucking reason.

Sunday:

I spent all day recovering, I hid out in my room while my Mom had all her friends over for lunch and I didn't make my way out of the room until it was time for the Miss Universe pageant and Arlette came over and we pigged out.

At about midnight I got a call from Colombia. Colombia is this hot Colombian boy who I once dated, Colombia ended up being an ass. However, since I am not able to hold grudges he and I have been talking here there recently. Well we talked until 4:30 a.m. on Sunday. I swear I felt 16 all over again, who the hell talks on the phone that long? Well apparently a Honduran and a Colombian do because neither one of us knew how to just STFU.

Weekend Recap July 14th-16th

Friday 14th:

Drinking started at Baby A's, 5:15 p.m. with the my Crazy Married Friend. I drank 4 potent Baby A's Ritas and I became crazy drunk dialing stalker. So my illness struck again and guess who I called? Panama. Do you remember the blog I teased you with? I know you guys were wondering who I was talking about, well it was Panama. He and I were supposed to hang out Thurs and well he didn't call and I didn't get upset I got extremely pissed off. So I called him in the midst of my drunkeness and told him that I was mad at him, I wasn't just going to let him get off easy. He said he'd call me later, cause we had something to talk about. So he pissed me off even more.

Panama apparently thought I was stupid or too drunk to understand what he wanted to tell me. First of all Im not stupid, and no matter how drunk I was I knew what he wanted to say. I just didn't understand why he didn't want to give me the typical guy speech of how he's not ready for commitment. So he said he'd call me later and of course he didn't. Further adding to my wrath.

Arlette and I went to see Devil Wears Prada, but not before stopping to stock up on alcohol to stuff into our purses so we could kill two birds with one stone and do our pre-downtown drinking during the movie. The movie was awesome, Im sure the alcohol might have helped but I want to see it again. Its very different from the book as far as the details are concerned but other than that, I loved it. The alcohol movie got me in a much better mood and I was ready to have some fun downtown with Arlette, Luis, and Luis' cousin, Lety who was visiting.

We decided to head to Foundation to start of the night and as soon as we get on 4th St guess who is walking our way on the same sidewalk? Panama and Friends! I normally would have been embarrassed but I was so pissed off at him, I walked right past him and didn't even acknowledge him or his friends. So as we are about to walk into Foundation Luis texted and said to meet him at Glass so we went back the way we came and guess who we run into again? Yes, Panama and Friends. So this time we all managed to say hello and talk about where we were going, they were headed to 6th we were headed to Fado. Luis being the fabulous gay man that he is decided however that we should head to Spill to dance our asses off. We didn't make it into spill without of course running into Panama and posse again. This time we decided to ignore each other again and that was fine with me. Spill was awesome, we surely did dance our asses off and made the most of my crazy, drunken friday night.

Sat July 15th:

When I got to Arlette's my car wouldn't start and once it did it would not stop stalling. The same car I just payed $800 to get repaired, I hate that piece of shit. So I ended up sleeping over at Arlette's and the next morning when I woke up I found out I had missed a call from Panama at 3:25 a.m.
wtf? I decided not to call back of course, this time I was seriously done and I had already erased his number from my cell phone, too bad for me I am incredibly good at remembering phone numbers. Panama called at around noon and I almost didn't answer but I figured we might as well have that conversation so we could end things. He was surprisingly extremely nice, and asked me if I was ok. I of course lied and told him I was. He explained to me that at this time in his life he was just wanted to relax, have fun, didn't want committment. blah blah blah
I told him of course that I already knew that, that I wasn't stupid and that he was getting way ahead of himself. I asked him what made him think that me wanting to spend time with him meant that I wanted him to be my bf? I told him that I was extremely picky and not flatter himself and that I was trying to get to know him. We ended the conversation on a really good note and we both agreed to take things slow and get to know each other better because we both liked each other so far, and there was no need to rush. He promised he'd see me at Vicci later that night.

I called my Dad told him about the car and he insisted I hang out at Arlette's until he could get to my car, so Arlette and I headed over to hang out at Luis' apt and even Santi made a cameo. We watched Mommie Dearest,I loved it but not as much as Luis who kept on calling his Dog, Gordito Dearest. I finally convinced Arlette and Luis to let me watch an episode of Freshman Diaries. You see Arlette and Luis were in a reality tv show their freshman year at UT. It was on showtime and it was basically a video diary of their lives as freshman. It was beyond hilarious to see the trouble and drama they created for themselves as I am sure we all did at that age, it was truly priceless. The rest of the afternoon was spent veggin out until my Dad finally called and temporarily fixed my car.

Arlette and I arrived at Vicci, ordered drinks and headed to the patio to check out what was going on outside. Guess who is the first we see in the Patio? Panama.
Panama and a friend were having a drink and talking. I decided to go ahead and say hello and he immediately started flirting. Arlette and I excused ourselves and told him we were going to dance. We ended up dancing for a while until I had to stop cause I was so hot I thought I was going to pass out and I didn't want my hair to get curly. We headed to the patio because it was cooler outside than it was inside, did I just pay $10 to get into that place?

Once we were outside Panama came over and said he was about to come and get us and he ordered both Arlette and I a drink. He was as he is always very affectionate with me, grabbing my waist, hugging me and holding my hand. He asked me if I was dancing with guys, and if I was dancing close and of course I told him yes. Even though I didn't let a single guy touch me. He told me he was jealous and I liked it. The rest of the night was spent with Panama and Arlette and I dancing. There were quite a bit of Panama's friends that stopped by and danced with us, but he didn't leave me alone for a second and he was being very sweet. All of his friends left and he ended up staying with Arlette and I at Vicci until we headed out at 3, he waited for our car with us and we drove him to his car. When he was getting out of the car I got out with him to give him a good night kiss since I had denied him one all night and then of course we somehow agreed it was best if he took me home. He did take me home, and we'll just say it was a good time in the car ;)
(You can save your, "He just wants to get laid sermons." I have this under control)

Sunday July 16th

I woke up very early to go to a memorial mass. I was there to support my Brother and despite of how tired I was from the late night before I got up and went to a Catholic Church for my family.

I spent the rest of the day watching Lifetime movies and cleaning. It was good to just be at home and get some rest. Panama called that evening and he was still very happy from the night before, we're in a good place. He's leaving for NYC on Fri and will be gone until next Wed. Im supposed to call him sometime this week so we can hang out before he leaves, I hope everything goes well cause I enjoy sex spending time with him. I promise you guys though if hanging out doesn't happen, I won't see him ever again. Although I highly doubt that as being possible considering I know run into him everywhere I go.

Why I love My Friends

Santi suggested we go check out Blues On The Green at Zilker Park.
Bob picked me up at work due to my lack of car situation.
Mr.Bob converted master bedroom into a sweet media room.
Bob let me borrow a tank top and flip flops so I didn't have to go to BOTG in heels.
Bob gave me beer.
Calling Santi at some person's cell phone over and over again to try and get directions to BOTG.
Santi slurring so much I can't understand him.
Snippy came back from her trip looking hot. (Yeah, I said it again!)
Drinking 3 beers at Bob's place, one in Bob's car and one courtesey of Bob at BOTG.
Bob gets me drunk :)
Snippy tells me to shut up, or stop saying that a lot, but I keep on saying it anyway. She puts up with it.
Bob reminding me of my illness before I picked up my cell to call Panama.
We talk about boobs a lot.
Santi scared Panama with his posse of gay men.
Bob and Snippy made me ask this guy if his great dane was a great dane.
Bob and Snippy make me go as the guy with the great dane if the great dane was mixed.
Bob calls out "French Boy" on not being French.
Seeing gay drama out the corner of my eye.
Bob offering to put Panama's bike in the back of her car.
Santi actually can manage to make Panama think he is trying to hook up with Bob.
How I can walk up to them and loudly announce that Panama and I are having dinner and lots of hot sex tomorrow.
All of them making fun, epxressing opinions about how truly smitten I am of Panama.
Calling Arlette right after to tell her all about my wonderful night.
Walking into Trudys to see Luis and not having to wait for a table.
Having Santi call me drunk and fat a million times during dinner, ok wait that should be on the why I hate my friends list. (jk Bitch, I love you.)
Mexican Martinis taste a lot better when you're sharing them with Bob, Mr. Bob, Santi and Snippy.
Bob drove me home.
Even better, soon we'll be playing kickball on a team, Team Ramrod. Even better, lots of drinking after kick ball.
Calling Arlette when I get home so we can finish talking about how she needs to just say no to that guy, how Panama is taking me out to dinner tonight, and about how she should come home like today.

I love you guys!

Weekend Recap July 7th-9th

Friday:

The plan was to meet up with all the latin boys, Arlette and I were looking way too hot. We went to 6th and passed by Spill and told the guys at the door that no, we weren't going in. However they said free drink, and next thing you know we're at the bar. We danced long enough to finish the drink and headed over to meet Victor at Bling Pig. I saw some people from hs, and I just have issues with people from hs. Most of them are still stuck there, and mentally I left high school sophomore year into it. It was good to catch up with Victor and hear about his trip to Mexico and Cuba. Arlette and I left to go to Aquarium and I ended up running into someone else from hs, he was with his new gf so we talked to them for a few minutes. We also saw the most disgusting thing ever, and all I have to say is that I love free alcohol as much as the next person but there are some people that just go way too far for free booze. We saw a bachelorette party, the bachelorette gets on her knees on the bar and her friend stands abover her with a dildo in bj position. Bride to be sucks it and Arlette and I want to puke. My friend tells me that the bartender told him that they wash that thing at the end of the night but not in between, gross. So not only do you humiliate yourself in front of a bar you could most likely end up with some nasty disease from sucking on that thing. The best part about Friday night is that I didn't end up spending a single dollar since it seems everywhere I went the drinks were on the house, it seems that I have found my new dt outfit. The bad part about that night, bouncers were being assholes. I just don't deal with assholes, you know if you want to give me a hard time about coming into your stupid ass bar Im just not going to go in there. Im not gonna be the girl that begs and Im most definitely not going to enter that bar to pay for overpriced drinks that will cover your shitty ass paycheck. I got in a bad mood pretty quickly, I was drunk, sad, and for some reason I just wanted to see that Panamanian boy. So you know what happens next, my illness struck and this attack was pretty severe. I called him not once, but twice, he never answered. To make it worse I called again when I made it home and still no luck. I made myself feel better that night, not something I should have done cause I felt even shittier after.

Saturday:

I woke up only to remember my drunk dialing, realized that I had acted completely psycho and totally wanted to shoot myself. I went and ruined a perfectly good change to get to know a guy. Arlette had called and texted me a million times after 2 a.m. on Friday apparently the guys had called and wanted us to after party with them, I was kind of glad I missed those calls cause I was so embarrased and didn't want to see Panama for anything in this world. I still managed to place another phone call that afternoon and left a message apologizing for the night before, Im telling you I just can't leave shit alone. I even pondered not going out at all but it was Melinda's Bday celebration and I had known about it forever and I just couldn't skip it. Arlette and I made our way dt and she had her heart on seeing the guys, I told her that I could have done without that. I just didn't want to risk the chance of seeing Panama. Arlette managed to make me feel better by telling me that he probably wouldn't even be there because she didn't think that he hung out with the other guys that often and that if I did see him just act cool and pay no attention to him. We hung out with Melinda her husband and friends at Logans. It was really low key, fun and Melinda looked absolutely stunning. We then headed to Vicci sure we'd run into the guys there, I was really nervous and it was kind of nice when we didn't end up running into them. We managed to get into VIP cause I saw one of Colombian's friends there. Vicci was not up to its potential that night, or maybe it was the lack of alcohol in my system. Arletted texted Memo and he didn't answer, I was happy, she wasn't. As soon as the techno came on we left Vicci and as we were walking to the car Memo finally texted and asked Arlette what we were doing. Arlette told her we were leaving Vicci and he asked us to come to the after party. I was already nervous and didn't want to go. The thought of seeing Panama made me sick to my stomach but Arlette was sure he wasn't there. So we're on the phone with Memo and as soon as we hit 29th street this car starts flashing its lights at us, it drives up and it was them. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I was freshening up but Arlette says, "Emma omg, he's in the back."

I had a panic attack and I chugged the entire mixture of Vodka and red liquid that was in Arlette's Car. As we pulled up to the gas station we saw each other and he waved, I waved back and then I wanted to puke. So there I was having my little fit in the car and I decided that I would just after party by myself in the car, but Arlette didn't let me. We all walked into James' apt together and he had of course said hi and kissed my cheek by this time, he was totally nice and cool, I was falling apart inside but acted calmly. As we're walking up I was telling Arlette about how pissed I was the my $80 shirt sucked because the buttons would always pop open. So of course he hears this and mentions that its a good thing. I started to feel better cause he was flirting and that was nice. James was already in the apt making drinks. So I take one of the fruity drinks he mixed and Panama comes over and starts talking to me. We made small talk, mostly about how our week went. He informed me that he was finally feeling a lot better, that he had gone to see Pirates of the Carribean the night before that he didn't go out. I know he was saying all these things to make me feel better. Then he asks me what happened the night before and as I almost spit my drink right in front of him and die of humiliation I say, " I was drunk, " and he just says, "Oh yeah well I didn't go out last night, sorry."

He then asked to have a taste of my drink and he pulled something out of his mouth and said, "James there is plastic in this drink." Panama tells me to stop drinking it and of course I say no. You don't waste perfectly good alcohol a little plastic never killed anyone. At this time one of the other guys asked me to dance, so I did and well at this point he had started talking to some skinny ass bitch, yeah I got a little jealous, haha. So Im enjoying the dance and all of a sudden he starts dancing with her, I was crushed but I tried not to act like it. After the dance we both made our way into the very crowded kitchen and Memo and Arlette are having a conversation.

Memo: White girls are better at sex.
Arlette: Whatever.
Me: I could see that, just cause they are more open and liberated about sex. In hispanic countries sex is so taboo.
Memo: Exactly.
Arlette: Well white guys have bigger penises than hispanic men.
Every guy in the room: Mierda, that's not true.
Me: No its true, believe me, I have a theory.
Panama: I don't think so, we can prove you wrong right now.
Me: Maybe later.

Everything about that night was hot, it was just so damn steamy in there. I loved it. I danced with Panama all night after that, he also proceeded to be very affectionate in front of his friends. It was sweet. He held my hand, grabbed my waist, hugged me, we cuddled, I sat on his lap, put my head against his chest he only tried to kiss me once and I didn't let him. It was really nice, the conversation was good, the dancing was great, and the affection was even better. At about 5 a.m. he offered to take me home even though it was way out of his way, but he said he lived closed by and we pretty much both new that well he wouldn't take me home until the next morning. He pinky sweared that he wouldn't do anything that night and I agreed to going along with it. Im not going to go into any more details of the night, however let's just say that things got a little out of control. Not with me, I was surprisingly good. Let's just say the quote of the night was when I said, "Arlette how much plastic did you drink?"

He kept his promise. There wasn't a point at all were we didn't cuddle, I gave in and gave him a kiss. Im falling for him hard.

Sunday:

Sunday morning was even more wonderful ;)
He took me home after buying me breakfast since I didn't want to go in public in his t-shirt, my skirt and my heels. The whole drive home he was still being affectionate and invited me to go watch the world cup game with him. I really couldn't believe that he wanted to see me again that same day. I didn't end up going to Ringers to watch the game but we did have a post game bbq invite and I was sure I would see him there. When we got to the BBQ he wasn't there, and I was pretty dissapointed. Five minutes into it, my phone rings. I didn't think anything of it but the screen all of a sudden said, "Llamando: Ismael."
I had to keep my self from screaming, I was in front of all his friends. So he asks me where I ended up watching the game and I told him at home, and he said he couldn't get in at ringers so he did the same. I asked him what he was doing and said that he was on his way to Killeen to pick up his Mom who was visiting and bringing her back to Austin so she could spend a couple of days with him. I was a little bummed out that I wasn't going to see him, and Im pretty sure I won't see him until his Mother leaves. I respect his time with his Mom and I don't want to interrupt that. Im also going to wait until he calls and even though it sucked that I didn't get to see him, Im super excited that he did call. The very same day! I might be falling a bit hard here, but I don't care. This feels wonderful, the butterflies are present and I haven't had them in a long time, Im going to enjoy them. I know for sure I'll see him sat at the big party the boys are throwing. So ladies next saturday there will be a party with a lot of hot latin boys, there will be alcohol and lots of dancing. Join us!

The Tangled Webs That Weave Us

After the Academy Award Performance of Thurs night, I had a heart to heart with this person and it went extremely well. Its nice to know that you mean as much to someone as they mean to you. Now that we're both on the same page, there is a mutual understanding and boundaries have been set. So naturally we picked up right where we left off and headed out to 6th on Friday night. I met up with Steevan whom I hadn't seen in forever, I've known this guy since I was in 7th grade and its always extremely nice to catch up. It had almost been a year since I last saw him and we introduced our new friends to each other. Well actually his two new friends introduced themselves to me.
M: "Hey so you're Emma?"
Me: "Yes, I am, you're M right?
M: "Man, you know everyone in my life."
Me: "Really?"
M: "Yeah, everyone who Im friends with on myspace you're friends with, this girl I dated and you even know my apt complex manager."

a couple of minutes later

P: "So you're Emma."
Me: "Yup."
P: "Im P, man you're famous you know everyone."

Yeah Im a little embarrased, although I promise all the people we know mutually I didn't meet on myspace or anywhere on the internet. Atx is much too small, Santi and I always talk about how social circles never fail to have some sort of connection. For example: First night I met Santi I saw Lori who was one of my best friends in middle school and after she hugged me and said hi, she proceeded to hug Santi whom she had also known for a long time and we all freaked out that wow, this is a small world. Cat introduced me to one of her friends at her wedding and it just so happens that this person went to hs with him. Which brings me to the other part of this whole, "Atx is too small, " conclusion. I saw D that night too and he introduced me to his band mate, the manager of their band is His sister. It doesn't get much more random and crazy than that. I have known D for about 5 years, I met him through Steevan. D and I lived in the same apt complex while attending TX State in San Marcos, but his band mate goes to UT and knows His sister. He and I met a little bit over a year ago and dated on and off for about 7 months or so. He by the way is the love of my life, who I so stupidly lost and screwed things up beyond belief with. He is from Midland but was living in Alice, TX when I met him, he now lives in NM and pretty much hates me. Just so you know though I am absolutely, whole heartedly, crazy, madly in love with this man. So when I told D about the whole ex boyfriend and his manager connection he proceeded to tell me how he stayed at their parent's house in Midland during their tour and how absolutely amazing these people were. They are and that's just another thing I miss about having him.

Sorry I got sidetracked there for a little bit, this happens a lot, and it usually involves something about him.

We made it to Blind Pig Pub, Soho, and Dizzy Rooster. Nothing too exciting happened, but it was good to get my awesome friend and I back to normal.

Saturday was the awaited lake party with Santi. Santi had so graciously invited me to his brother's 30th birthday boat party a few weeks ago and I've been looking forward to it like crazy cause I absolutely <3 the lake and well I couldn't wait to meet the family of this insane character that is Santi. Santi said that they would have beer there but if there was anything that I wanted to drink in particular to just bring it along. Well I did, I B.Y.O.B.ed in style. I literally brought my own bar: tequila, salt, limes, margarita mix, wine, hypnotic and my awesome wine bottle opener. No im not an alcoholic, I just come prepared for spending time with Santi. It's not so much that he drives me to drink, but more like that boy is such a lush I was sure he could float the whole keg by himself. (I love you whorebagslutface) First went the bottle of wine because we couldn't wait for the boat to leave the dock to drink, it was too hot and well why drink water when you have alcohol available? Then came tequila shots with Aaron then margaritas, then more margaritas. After we docked off I stuffed my face with food and jumped in the water with a life jacket, I am super paranoid about party boats. The paranoia soon became non existent after my 3rd margarita and I went off the slide not one but three or four times. I did it of course making sure that someone was below me right next to the spot where I was landing ready to hand me a life jacket right away. I was having so much fun I convinced random girls to slide off with me, and life was great. Santi's family is awesome they had great food, beer, a party boat but mostly because when our driver was saying that , "Everyone better behave, not drink too much, or get out of control," his whole family including his Dad pointed to Santi and along with me said, "Yeah Santi!"
The party ended to quickly :(
However, who's up for renting a party boat before the summer is over?

Arlette, Luis and I met Pam (my gorgeous, way fun, amazing dancer, married sister) at Vicci. I don't know if it was my hot Corset top or maybe the sun I had gotten that day but from the moment I was standing in line to the moment I left I had boys wanting to dance with me. At one point I had two of them arguing over who I was going to dance with. Of course the bolder and Honduran one won (speaking of it being a small world, this guy happened to be from one of the poorest/worst neighborhoods in Honduras, called Tepiaca. My Grandma always says that her grandaughters need to get away from Honduras so they don't end up marrying an , "Indio from Tepiaca." Pam and I were cracking up because I didn't have to go all the way to Honduras to find me one, Grandma would be proud). He didn't leave me alone pretty much the whole night and when he did some other guy was right there. It was a boost to my ego and I have now made a note to wear that top out more often because I've only worn it once since I bought it in Dec. and obviously that was a mistake. We danced at Vicci until about 3 a.m.

We saw one of Pam's co-workers outside of Vicci, he happens to be extremely hot, Columbian and super nice. So of course Luis being the awesomely hot, gay, funny guy that he is says:
"There must be something wrong with him."
Arlette and I: "Why?"
Luis: "Well, he's single. "
Arlette and I: "So, that doesn't mean anything. "
Luis: "Trust me he either has a small penis or dingleberries."
Me: (cracking up in uncontrollable laughter) "You're so bad."
Arlette: (confused) What's a dingleberry?
Me: "Omg, its so gross." "This guy I used to date gave me that as a pet name, that's the only reason I know what it is."
Luis: "Gross."

Of course Luis did a good, graphic job of explaining dingleberries to Arlette and I didn't stop laughing the whole time.

Pam and I made a run to Taco C and I swear that is the LONGEST I have waited for food EVER in my life. The night turned out to be a very late one because my brother in law needed to be rescued from a bachelor party at the Omni. Needless to say I spent all of sunday napping and watching tv. The weekend couldn't have gone any better, Im so ready for friday.

Delivered

Remember I promised some crazy stories? Well here are the ones that I can actually write about. Here's the daily recap of my weekend. Enjoy!

Friday:
Got home, put on skinny jeans! (wohoo)
Headed to happy hour joined by Diana and Diego. Arrived at the bar at the Omni ready to spend all sorts of money on getting wasted, but Cat's Dad (who is AWESOME) took care of the tab. See told ya he was awesome, as was the whole family. I did my very best to meet everyone and talk to everyone at happy hour, my faithful friend Pinot helped. I hadn't eaten much at all day on friday and I was slamming down those glasses of Pinot as if I were lost in the dessert and I had found my Oasis. I had some small slices of pizza but it was too late. We proceeded to go up to Cat's room so she could get her hot short skirt on, checked out the amazing view of the hotel room and headed downtown. The downtown crowd was crazy, it included Diego, Diana, Santi, Cat, Stephanie, that really nice couple :), Cat's Dad, Cat's Uncle and "free pass" guy. I don't remember much about downtown other than going to Fabric, after that its pretty much a blurr, the only thing I remember is the walk to the car. Waking up in the back of Diego's truck, attempting to enter the house through the front, then the back, then finally the front again.

Saturday:

I woke up with multiple massive bruises on my arms and foot. My left foot was a bit swollen up top. I joined my Mom and Dad for lunch at a friends house, yumm Conch soup. No, its not cock soup. Its Conch soup, perfect to cure a hangover and its a seafood delicacy. Mom and I went and got pedicures and manicures and I got the shit massaged out of my swollen foot, OUCH. When I got home I was pretty tired from my crazy/blurry friday night so I was sure I wasn't going to go out. I talked to Diana and Santi, heard some scandalous stories about Friday as they refreshed my memory I was happy to find out none of them involved me, phew! Can you imagine how much crazier it would have gotten if I was concious? Apparently there was some crazy salsa dancing, making out, more dirty dancing, cigar smoking, and me passing out on a couch at a gay bar. I shopped with my mother and only bought one thing, crazy huh? My Mom got me some awesome new shoes, I love free stuff. When I got home I curled up in bed with my Shape magazine and a class of water. As soon as I was about to enjoy some much needed sleep Diego called and said he was headed downtown with MC. MC is awesome, I love that guy. Anytime he can get away from Psycho aka Baby Momma and goes downtown, its a blast. MC had all his guys with him and we went to Shakespeares and Maggie Mae's. I took it easy only having two beers and a shot with Victor at Shakespeares. At Maggie Mae's one of MC's friends asked me if I wanted a beer and he and I talked for a while. He seemed like a really nice guy, not hot, but cute. I was excited to know that I was going to do some post DT drinking with them but Diego wasn't feeling good and decided to go home :(
Yeah he cut off my game, I already told him that the same thing is going to happen to him next time he's with me and he's got something going on, jerk. So I didn't get this guy's number or anything, but oh well its probably a good thing since he's MCs friend.

Sunday: THE WEDDING

Picture this: little black dress, big boobs, lace up back, hot silver heels, voliminous brown hair down, and 10 pounds less. Yes that was me on sunday, it was hot. Santi even checked me out before he knew it was me, yeah I looked so hot I almost turned Santisha straight. Diego and I got there 5 mins before 3 right as Santi was walking to the church. We got to sit together at the church and gossip check out the other guests. It was a good looking wedding, everything was absolutely beautiful. Much props to Cat and Stephanie. Cat looked absolutely stunning, seeing her walk down the isle made me appreciate our friendship and times together so much. Im going to work really hard to mend that relationship, she and her husband (so weird to say that) are great people. I cried she looked so beautiful. The ceremony was short, sweet, and meaningful. My favorite part: "You may now kiss the groom."
Now that's what Im talking about. After the ceremony we headed over to the reception site at the Omni, and I swear to you they bought the entire cheese supply of France and even better the open bar was fully stocked. I did much better at this open bar, not to worry. I didn't want to be "that one girl that danced on top of the tables and passed out on the cake at the wedding." Instead I was a much classier,"that one girl that was dancing like a stripper at the wedding."
Yes, this wedding was awesome ladies and gentlemen. There was dirty dancing, drinking, some more dirty dancing and even more drinking. I dirtied it up with the whole wedding, the brides underage brother included. The dinner was great, even though I only had two bites because there was much dancing and socializing to do. I talked to everyone at that wedding, even Cat's crazy mother in law. All I have to say is I could appreciate where she was coming from after all we're from neighboring countries and well us central american women we have a bit of a strong personality, you can call it psycho, I call it strong. She was a lot a little more pyscho then me. No problem, Stephanie had scissors and vodka on hand. The bride only hyperventilated once at which point I came out of the bathroom after calming her down threatening to stick my foot up everyone's ass if they didn't dance. I salsaed, countryd, hip hopped, swinged (no not like that), and taught everyone to keep their hips from lying. I didn't eat cake, didn't attempt ot catch the bouquet (thank God cause Stephanie would have tackled me), however I did stick my hand up a donkey's ass. Don't worry it was a donkey piñata full of little bottles of liquor, Santi and I took enough of them to stock a whole bar and stuffed my purse with them. Once Stephanie had the DJ dancing and the hotel ran out of alcohol we headed downtown to continue the crazyness. We actually were pretty mellow with the exception of Santisha who drank my whole purse out of small liquor bottles, yeah that wine he was drinking brought out his finest mexican side crazy accent and all. He proceeded to tell us he was leaving four times, only to come back to tell me and I quote:
"I cans finde da e buus."

Mission accomplished, the crazyness I promised happened and once again I delivered.

If you don't believe that this madness occured here's more proof:

Santi

Snippy