Yeah that man touched Mommy's boob once

Austin came in at #5 on the list of America's most educated cities:

City, in order of education rank
Percent of population with college degree or higher
edian household income

1. Seattle, WA 52.7
$49,297

2. San Francisco, CA 50.1
$57,496

3. Raleigh, NC 50.1
$48,131

4. Washington, DC 45.3
$47,221

5. Austin, TX 44.1
$43,731

Earlier in the year we also placed #5 in the list for Drunkest Cities in the U.S.

Now if you've ever partied in Austin you know those two results sum up the atmosphere really well, because in a bar in Austin chances are the guy that is SUPER wasted and trying to feel you up is a genius rocket scientist or a future president of the U.S.

I love this city. I mean seriously not everyone will have the privilidge of telling their kids that once before they ripped Mommy's vagina open Mommy had a life, and that in that life Mommy had a lot of fun getting drunk and being slutty. One time Mommy met a young man, and the young man was really drunk. Mommy and the young man took shots of Patron, booty danced all while the young man had his hands all over Mommy's breasts, and now that young man is The President of this tiny little country we call the U.S.

Yeah, Id make the best Mommy ever.

Also...

Do not tell your breast enhancement cup story at church.

You should also refrain from recreating the story by pulling out the breast enhancement cup and showing them exactly how it happened.

Apparently church people, they don't find boob stories funny.

How to make an ass of yourself three times in one day:

When someone at your place of employment asks you for extra badge that you borrowed, reach into your purse and pull out your cup enhancer bra insert instead of the badge.

Because really I mean it would make sense to dig into the deep dark black hole that is your purse and feel your boob enhancer because really the squishy foamy thing feels just like the hard plastic square thing. So yeah it totally makes sense to pull it out.

Most importantly when you show the person at your place of employment that you enhance your boob size you have to say, "Man, I've been looking for this."

No, seriously, I have looked like everywhere for that boob enhancer cup. I've been missing one for months, so my boobs have lacked enhancing. Not good. I should have known it was at the bottom of my purse, I mean think about it it makes sense. Im pretty sure the bottom of my purse was the hidding spot I found when I had to take the cup enhancers out before I let some guy feel me up. Ladies you have to take out boob enhancers out of the bra before you get felt up. You can't have men knowing that we cheat a lot little to get their attention.

It also totally makes sense to carry around cup enhancer bra inserts in your purse for months and months. No, seriously you never know when you will need a little enhancement of the boobs to you know well get something or someone you want. Really it makes sense.

The lack of boob enhancers: The reason I haven't gotten any in months.

Overheard at Bob's Last Night

Snippy: Makes reference to her boobs.

Me: "I know what size your boobs are, hehe."

(If you want to know as well read this)

Who says blogs aren't informative? Rack size es muy importante, I choose my friends by the size of their rack, you don't really Id be friends with Snippy if she didn't have fabulous breasts do you?