Let me help you find your balls

Fucking men.

If I ask you if you'd like to have dinner or coffee with me sometime, then I expect a yes or no. Don't try and spare my feelings.

Don't try and be clever and cute by telling me I would break your friend's/roomate's heart and that Id also be a homewrecker. Then don't tell me how you had an awesome time Friday night dancing and how you have to throw another party at your house so we could dance it up.

Why don't you fucking grab your balls, grunt, fart and adjust your balls and tell me, "No."

You don't even have to say thanks. Just say, "No I don't think I want to go out to dinner with you."

Tell me that you're not interested, don't fucking throw out that your friends likes me. First of all I didn't even know he liked me and you and I both know that hell would have to freeze over for me to be interested in your friend. Your friend has met me ONCE, Im sure he wouldn't be heartbroken.

Ok, sure you're trying to be a nice guy but it took you a whole fucking day to come up with the friend excuse? Why didn't you tell me that right away, because if that's really why you don't want to have dinner with me then you could have easily thrown that out yesterday, it's pretty obvious you were thinking of how exactly to let me down.

First of all don't give yourself that much credit, Im not heartbroken. Second of all grow some fucking balls. Third, learn how to be a better fucking liar. Fourth don't ever insult my intelligence again by throwing a little white lie my way.

You don't have balls, you're a liar and you don't have pre-marital sex. So really, I didn't want to date you in the first place.