Just a little love

Do you ever have one of those days where you just need to feel loved?

Im having one of those days.

I had a very emotionally draining night last night. I drained out all the love in me and poured it into someone else. Someone who has done the same for me my entire excistence. Im his little girl, and he's my first love.

Today I need a little of that love back, and you know what when you need love, sometimes it's hard to find or should I say feel it?

So I did what I do when I need a little love, I listened to some soulful love music.

Today it's Ray Lamontagne.

I saw Ray at ACL.

He played on Friday, this was the day I hung out at ACL all by myself. At first I was sad, but when I got to Ray's show I layed back, closed my eyes and his music made my heart burst.

Music can give you love when no one or nothing else will.

Thank You Ray.

RAY LAMONTAGNE - Trouble

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I bet Zach never did the Dirty Sanchez

The New York Daily News reports:
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us. We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez." Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

TMZ.com has obtained a preview of Dustin's Diamond's soon-to-be-released adult film.

Im the first one to admit that geeks are totally hot but man this is just wrong.

Why Dustin Diamond, Why? Why did you have to ruin the sanctity that is Saved By The Bell. Didn't Mario Lopez ruin enough of it for all of us?

I mean we all thought AC Slater was a nice guy but then he cheated on his super hot, beauty queen wife. Well now Mario Lopez is a bad ass on Dancing with the Stars. He pisses the judges off every week because he always breaks the rules, but Mario Lopez is really awesome dancer. I mean don't you remember?



That's how he got all the chicks in Saved By The Bell highschool.

That Mario Lopez is a rebel he pisses off the judges every freaking time. He breaks the rules, he makes the super proper 80 year old I have a stick up my ass judge MAD. It's funny.

But look at how GOOD he is:


Yeah well he's that good because he practices all Day, EVERYDAY. It's bad when other Delebrities make fun of you for having nothing else other than Dancing With the Stars going on in your career. Jerry Springer was calling AC Slater out.

All I have to say to Jerry is STFU, I don't see you doing a naked shower scene on Nip Tuck.



Really though, please TV People no naked Jerry Springer scenes. It's enough you screwed up the Saved by The Bell Kingdom, Leave my image of Jerry alone.

I know the Cowboys suck but that's no reason to kill yourself

And no Im not talking about the poor suffering fans.



Associated Press
Posted: 5 minutes ago



DALLAS (AP) - Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens today left a Dallas hospital amid reports he was treated for a prescription drug overdose — reports that his publicist is strongly denying.


When are the Cowboys going to catch a break and return to their glory days? Poor Boys, they're stuck with this wack job who manages to injure himself the second game of the season, gets prescribed pain pills for his injury, gets addicted to them, and then tries to kill himself with them.


Not that I care about sports or anything.

Not that I like the Cowboys.

Not that I dream of the Glory Days coming back.

Not that I wish that Emmitt would lose Dancing With the Stars so the Cowboys would take him back.

Im just reporting the news.

Custom artwork provided by me, and that's foam coming out of his mouth, you dirty dirty people!

Nevers Always Happen

I never thought Id be a workaholic. So far this week, two twelve hour days. Straight 12 hours no lunch break both days, and are we even counting the 10 hours overtime I put in last week?

I never thought Id be fat, and well Im pretty damn fat.

I never thought that I would let someone screw me over more than once, I have now let this person screw me over well past 5 times. I will probably let them screw me over again. I love her, I always will believe there is good in her.

I never thought I could love someone as much as I love him. The depths of my love are way beyond anything I ever imagined feeling. The really weird thing is that this love is something I don't depend on, I don't dwell on, this love is something that is a part of me every second of the day. This love is something that's only mine and I never share it with anyone, especially not him.

I never thought Id be this happy even though in so many ways I don't consider myself complete. I have lots of things I need to work on, lots of things Im lacking, and more problems then I know what to do with. However, I am more happy and emotionally stable than I have ever been in my life. Im pretty sure it's due to the fact that I have no boys to worry about.

Which brings me to the stupidest thing I never thought would happen:

I never thought Id be almost 24 and not have a serious boyfriend.

Oh the joys of this thing they call growing up :)

If you want to make me puke

Then send me this as a myspace message:

From: Foot Man In Austin

http://www.myspace.com/27973876

Date: Sep 25 2006 9:11 AM
Subject: hello
Body: Hello, I wanted to see if you would be interested in having me serve you. I am submissive and I like serving women. I would do as you say. You can use me, spank me, tie me up and have me at your mercy. I also have a foot fetish and would worship your feet. You can dominant me and punish me. Act like I am your slave. I am in the Austin Texas area and willing to travel to you if you want. I can also send you a picture if you are interested. So if you would like or if you have any questions please write me back. I am also on yahoo IM and can give you my id if you want. I hope to hear from you soon and serve you.
All I have to say to that is a million times, eeeewwwww.

Im So Stupid

I give people the benefit of the doubt too often and too much. Seems Ive just been screwed in the ass big time, I never liked that type of thing. This is pretty fucking low though.

Do you remember what today is?

Shakira night! Im so excited.

In other news Team Ramrod was defeated again last night. Santi and Snippy report the score as 8-0 I had a message from one of The Jerks we played last night, no really that's their name. He said the score was 11-0 but that we were a lot fun and that our catcher aka Bob was funny as hell. She really is funny when she plays kickball.


I also have to report that Im quite smitten with Dentist. Now if only he lived in Austin, but that can be forgiven seeing as him being away has to do with him completing Dental school. Im all up for long distance as long as in the end I become a Dr's wife. haha

I really like him though, I like him as much as I did the first time I saw him in Government class senior year. Im drooling almost as much now as I did back then, ok maybe a little more because he's going to be a dentist.

Ok Internet, seriously. I like him a lot. Just when I think he's going to dissapoint me or say something stupid, he says something wonderful and leaves with butterflies inside.

On becoming old

You know you're old when you can only make it through two days of ACL, you want to go but your tired body just won't go.

You know you're old when you decide it would be better to save your money on the Shakira weekend and do something more responsible with it.

You know you're old when you're working out and your back pops loudly.

You know you're old when you can't get out of bed for work in the morning because your back has given out on you.

You know you're old when you're all drugged up on pain killers and muscle relaxers.

You know you're old when you have to miss your kickball game because you're not allowed to put any strain on your back for the next two weeks.

You know you're old when you're going to stay home all weekend catching up on tv and reading because you're back is fucked.

Wow, I love this getting old business. Im sure I'll croack by next week.

The Stats

Team Ramrod:2
Baumerz:11

Ouch. No seriously, ouch. We're all hurt.
Not to make excuses but everyone was on the injury list.

It's ok though Bob and Snippy have ensured victory from now on, their mad flirting skills, well they're going to pay off.

Snippy sometimes you just have to take one for the team, as long as it's not the guy with the lip herpes, haha.

Why I Never Want My Parents To Find This Blog

Top 3 things I write about:

Randomness

It's just the way my brain is wired. I have random thoughts floating around all the time. One minute I will be thinking, "I wonder if I'll see Jake Gyllenhall this weekend."

The next Im thinking, "Man that's one big head."

See? Random. Nothing important, nothing meaningful. Just random.


Drunkeness

I know some of you might worry that I am an alcoholic. However like my friend Beau says, "Im not an alcoholic. I don't go to meetings."

Well last time I checked internet I've never been to an AA meeting. Im not going to lie and deny that Im a lush, that I pass out on occasion or even that I black out at times. Internet, I do admit to all those things BUT Im only a lush on the weekends. Of if there is an open bar on a weekday, or if there is kickball to be played, or live music to enjoy, or if Im bored.

The thing is I must blog about my drunkeness because some crazy, funny stuff happens when I hang out with Mr.Patron and well also if I stopped posting about drunkeness then the posts will be reduced to once a month or something like that.

Suckness

Im a bitch. Things piss me off easily. I think lots of things suck and I must inform you of that internet. These posts are also posted withing the categories: bitching and inappropriate.

Things I least write about:

Boobs

I should write more about boobs cause man I love me some boobs, or as Bob, Santi and I like to call them NOOBS. Not that Id know or anything, but I heard Boobs are magically delicious.

Clean Fun:
Only three appereances since May when I started this blog. I mean honestly how much fun is stuff when it's clean? Don't lie, you know fun usually involves alcohol, sex, balls, boobs, cussing etc.

Clean fun is possible but it's never as fun as dirty fun. NEVER.

Operation: Hotness

Well I don't write much about this cause it's depressing. It hasn't been going so well until this week. Plus, Id rather drunk then work out, SO THERE. Sue me.

Yeah this is one dirty, scandalous blog.

Shakira anyone?

I have an extra ticket. Floor, Section F2.

As in right in the fucking front, middle section.

As in her abs and booty will be right in your face.

Really the best thing though is you get to sit right next to me.

If you do want it, send me $200

Holy Shit!

I have to wake up in less than 4 hours.

The sad thing is that Im going to sleep this late because I was trying to make my blog pretty.

I wish I had some scandalous, drunken, crazy story to tell. No internet I was up working on my blog template.

It doesn't get any lamer than that.

Visitor

Everyone welcome Midland.

According to my site meter he has checked out my blog.

I really don't want him reading it but he already knows how psycho, scandalous, and boy crazy I am. So go ahead read on, NOTHING in here I haven't told you.

So yeah you're no longer talking to me and Im off your myspace friend's list AGAIN, but you can still come on here and read about EVERYTHING that's happening in my life. Sneaky, sneaky.

Im pretty sure it's about to get really scandalous in this little blog of mine.

I mean seriously, if you're trying to be all sneaky like and be really proud of yourself that you are able to spy on me. Well newsflash: Im going to those things that make me, "Just another Austin slut," even more.

You know what you're going to hate the most though? Im not going to be, " just another austin slut." Im going to be THE austin slut. Cause if you're going to do something god damn it, you better do it bigger and better than the Austin slut right next to you.

My ACL Schedule

These are the shows I plan on taking in at ACL. I most likely won't be able to catch all of them since apparently when creating this schedule I forgot that I will need to eat or pee at some point in the weekend. Im also kind of bummed out that Im missing out on Friday's early shows since I have to be at work event, yes the event is open bar. Couldn't my work wait to reward me for all my hard work next week? Gosh.

Friday:

4:30-5:30
Gnarls Barkley

5:45-6:45
Del Castillo


6:30-7:30
Los Lonely Boys

7:30-8:30
Ray Lamontagne

8:15-9:30
John Mayer


8:30-10:00
Van Morrison

Saturday:

1:30-2:30
Phoenix

2:30-3:30
Ben Kweller

3:30-4:30
Nada Surf

4:30-5:30
Los Lobos

5:30-6:30
Calexico

6:30-7:30
The Raconteurs

8:15-9:30
Willie Nelson

(Yeah, there are going to be pee brakes involved for sure)

Sunday

2:30-3:30
KT Tunstall

3:30-4:30
Jack Ingram


4:30-5:30
Matisyahu

5:30-6:30
Los Amigos Invisibles

6:30-7:45
Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals

7:45-8:30
G. Love & Special Sauce

8:30-10:00
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

It also looks like I'll be checking some of these bands on my own, so if someone would like to be all crazy and meet up with me at ACL let me know.

Damn his Mom for walking in on us

That is my hot Prom date. We've been talking a lot. He dumped me hard core after prom. I took embarrasment for that guy, his Mom caught us making out, it was all down hill from there. We were laughing so hard about it today.

He's such an awesome guy though. Im crushing on him like I was in HS. Oh the butterflies. The only problem is he is in FL. The REALLY GOOD THING, he is in FL in Dental school. The even better thing his parents LOVE me.

NO seriously his Mom would talk to me more on the phone then he would. When my Brother needed serious dental work after his accident FOUR years later his Dad performed all of it for free, cause his Mom LOVES me.

But the ALMOST VERY BEST thing, is he is even hotter now than he was back then and we have a date for drinks when he comes back for Xmas.

Because we can all agree by looking at those pictures that THE VERY BEST THING is that the whole, I have highlights that make my head look like a whole flock of pigeons took big fat shits on me is NOT HOT ANYMORE.

So in conclusion kids:

Operation: Shakira is now Operation: Make Dentist fall in love with me

And this time if his Mom walks in when we're making out, Im going to tell her to please turn off the lights and shut the door. HAHA.

Why do you make me want to touch myself?

Justin, Im at work. Stop it already.

Ouch!

The shin splints have struck! They fing hurt people. I got up once again to run this morning at the butt crack of dawn only to almost collapse while jogging because the shin splints, they attacked. Hard.


It's probably not smart that Im wearing heels today either, but damm. Yes, I stretched so no it's not that.

According to Rice University:

"The treatment for shin splints is rest."

Ummm no, that's not going to work for me. Im on Operation: Shakira
as In Im putting in two hours of jogging every day for the next two weeks. I know, I know I need rest in between. This is Operation: Shakira which basically winds down to me wanting to lose some weight quickly before the Shakira concert in San Antonio next week. After that I plan on reducing my running to 5 days a week and only once a day.

They also suggest:

"One can often substitute cross-training activities (e.g., bicycling) for running to help increase the interval between running days."

That's not going to work either, I hate, hate, hate to bike.

Also:

"However the most important preventive strategy is not to repeat the mistakes that lead to the injury. Examine all the training variables – surface, shoes, training volume, intensity, workout type, hills, weather conditions, etc."

Surface: Im running on asphalt, ouch! I hate to run in-doors though, yuck the threadmill. Plus I like the hills.

Shoes: I have kick ass running shoes. So no it's not them.

Training volume: I've run three times in less than two days, so this is probably my problem. However, I already told you about Operation: Shakira.

Intensity: It can't be this cause I've been taking it semi-easy, I want to be hot but I don't want to die.

Work out type: Huh? I thought we were talking about running.

Hills: Yeah I run lots of those, it makes my ass hot. So no Im not giving them up and well I can't really make the hills go away.

Weather conditions: Maybe the humidity irritates the shin splints?

The final piece of advise:

"Seek help from a qualified trainer or coach."

Yeah I don't have money for that.

In conclusion: LONG LIVE THE SHIN SPLINTS!

Things that are new

Remember the 21 y/o who I didn't see anything happening with? Well I hung out with him again this weekend, and Im not tired of him.

Midland is not talking to me AGAIN. This will pass, just give it a couple of weeks. It's an endless cycle really.

I ran 3 miles this morning and Im going to do it again in about an hour. I plan on repeating this tomorrow.

It looks like there will be a new car for me this week, finally.

Acl, I've lived in Austin all of my adult life, granted I haven't been an adult very long but this will be my first time to attend.

The week looks good, especially since my boss is out.

Emma, what are you doing blogging at 6 a.m.?

Oh Dear Blog, Im just cooling off from my 5 a.m. run.

Cause I can appreciate a nice piece of ass

Dear Sweet 8 pound 3 ounce Baby Jesus:

Please help the Horns kick some ass.
Speaking of asses can I have Brooke Burns'?

Amen and Hook Em'

Stats

Team Ramdon:11 Colts:1

That's right we kicked ass. Bring it on biatches!!!

The Kickball Team that Snippy, Santi, Bob and I belong to:

This is how we will look on the field:



Our theme song:
Insane In the Brain



The replacement I found if one of us gets sick:


He'll fit right in, you can tell he loves to drink and is up for kicking balls. Perfect? I think so!



One last thing, I also found these pictures when googling kickball:


Why do I have a feeling there will be a lot of that? Oh I don't know maybe cause there will be alcohol involved, yes, we'll be drinking in between kicking, catching, and throwing balls.

I guess the happy hour after kick ball will numb the injuries received. Im scared.

So maybe I should have been cussing out google instead

I was looking over my blog stats this morning and it turns out that I may have been bitching out the wrong person/thing.

I found out that if you google the show of that media person the link to my blog that was sent to BB is result #6 on Google.

So FUCK YOU GOOGLE!


Other searches that lead to my blog:

"let him get off" tease

yager bomb


Yes, well alcohol and sex, what more could you expect?

Saturday Nights At Vicci

Go there if you'd like to meet every single man I've had sex dated in the last ten months.

Panama was there. He came to say hi, he was drunk. I ignored him, but why, why did he have to kiss my cheek?

Why did he have to come bump into me while he was dancing and give me that sexy look?

His friends also came and said hi. Why were they upset that I walked right past them and I didn't say hi? Hello, maybe because you're friend is a fucker.


Also in attendance was Colombia. Who waved and I didn't even wave back to. Apparently me hanging up on him last week and erasing his number off my phone means nothing to him, but whatever.


Most importantly ladies and gentlemen in attendance was that new boy. We'll call him UT. He's a 21 y/o mechanical engineering major at UT. He's in love with me, really the boy doesn't know any better.

He just happened to be there with his friends and I managed to avoid him most of the night, but it was actually pleasant when I ran into him. He's very sweet and he makes me feel sexy. That's nice.

We went out on a nice date Sunday and although I don't see anything serious happening with him, Im glad I have someone who I can spend time with cuddling. It feels good.

Oh one more thing.

The links to the blogs of those whom I personally know have now been removed off my blog.

No more blog roll for me, this causes drama.

Kindly remove me off yours, I know Bob already did.

Obviously the reader who is spreading the news of my "evilness" hopped on over from one of those blogs.

P.S. Team Ramrod will kick ass tomorrow.

You know what? I DON'T CARE.

Why is my stupid blog about Bobby Bones causing this much drama? Why? Seriously?

This is my MOTHERFUCKING BLOG, and I can write about whatever I want to.

I have given my link to 4 people: Hi Snippy, Bob, Santi and Melinda.

I set my blog to private last night because I was so embarrased or afraid that my blog would be talked about on air and people would send me hate mail, comments etc.

You know what bring it the fuck on.

This is so childish and stupid. Who the fuck cares what I think? Why would anyone find what I write meaningful enough to send it to someone who I don't even know?

Honestly, I really don't care. This is their fault, not mine. So go ahead and send the link to my blog to whoever the hell you want, cause I don't care. Im not going to start censoring myself now.

For fucksakes people this is the motherfucking internet, didn't your parents ever tell you that everything on the internet is a fucking lie? Who takes the internet seriously? Who?

I shouldn't get scolded for what I wrote, especially by my friends. Fuck that. This is my blog, it's my business. I didn't say that YOU thought Bobby Bones was a tool. I said I think, as in ME.

I write this blog, it's MY opinion. If someone is going to be stupid enough to take my words as that of others then that is their motherfucking problem.

Rant over.

Dear Fucker Who sent My Link To The Media

(And you know who the fuck Im talking about!)

Fuck you!

As I recall I never invited you to read this blog, so stay the fuck out. If you do decide to come on here and read about the stupid shit I blog about then keep what I say to yourself.

Im not going to apologize for my opinions or what I have said on here about anyone. This is My MOTHERFUCKING BLOG and I will write about whomever and whatever I want to.

Keep your filthy paws off my blog and much better why the fuck don't you get a life? Im sure Mr.Media is your BFF now huh? Hah. Fucking tool (you, not Mr.Media)

You know who else I think is a tool? Your Fucking Mom.

Why don't you just pass this link to her? Fucker.

Poop.

That's what I feel like.

I feel like shitty poop.

Therefore today I won't be blogging all about my fun, fun weekend. I promise details will come soon.

I am also going to be missing out on happy hour with the kickball team, but damn if you guys want me to be in tip top asskicking shape for thursday's game then you better understand my ass needs to get in bed, pronto.

Thanks Snippy for picking up my dinero, now I hope they don't forget my shirt.

Last Year

I came across this in my journal yesterday. This is something I wrote to Midland around the same time last year, he has never seen it. It's funny how I have come a long way from how I felt back then. At that time I couldn't see light in my life without him. I am ok without him now, but my feelings for him haven't changed. My love for him is so real, I still miss him everday. We still talk, but there is no hope for us.

Over the past few days I've been thinking how I could show you that I love you, or care about you. I truly believe that it's the distance that prevents me from showing you. I know that words don't mean much to you, but that's all I have. I wish I could give you my all. I wish that I could make you dinner, give you a hug, give you a massage after a hard day at work. I wish I could watch you play your video games, learn about your coding, all those things that I know in your eyes would be a demonstration of love. Sometimes I question why you are so hard on me, but at that same time I forced to remember how badly I have screwed up.

I did not do justice to us at all, whatsoever. As much as I regret it, with all that I am, I can do nothing to erase it. I am not going to dwell in the past, because my apologies are nothing but void words to you. At times I feel so helpless, I constantly wonder where we are going. As you know patience isn't a virtue I posses.

I know this will take time, but time without you doesn't go by fast. Time without you is eternal, slow, sad, and depressing. I have to remember the good times and what my goal is everyday, to not cry. I have to force myself to think in terms of days and not weeks, months, years.

Every day we fight, you get mad etc. I am reminded of what I have lost. It's so hard for me to hear cold indeference in your voice. I want so much to have that warmth again, but I know that is long gone. I have to start from a harder place that I ever imagined.

This is not starting from scratch, starting from scratch is a blank slate. We have sadness, lies, anger and love between us. At times I can be so positive, I can be strong, but missing you is my weakness. I tell myself every day that if I leave you alone, perhaps you'll start missing me too. However, my heart can't keep my brain from picking up the phone, or typing a message to say hi.

Im a dreamer, I have hopes. At times I am also a realist and those hopes are shut down. However, if I stop believening in you, God, miracles and love then what is there left to believe in?

Just myself. However, I am not myself without those things that I believe in. Ironic isn't it? I've come to find out that's how life is. I am sorry I am not making any sense, but I have so much to say but how come the words never come out right with you?

Arrgghh! I miss you Midland and love you more than words could ever express. I am and will always be yours, forever.

Emma

I am still his, I will be forever.

Open Bars= Early Nap Time For Me

The event ended up going really well.
It was super fun.

The only problem was that I didn't each much that day and the cranberry/grey goose's hit me really hard. Not to the point where I was a loud obnoxious drunk, but to the point where I decided that the couch at light bar was really really comfy and I decided to take a nap. I got us kicked out, go me. I don't remember this happening.

The only good thing I can say is that passing out does keep me from drunk dialing or texting. No phone damage done for me. I can't say that for other people, but well you know she actually stayed awake.

Everyone did look super hot that night, and I will post pictures as soon as Snippy uploads them.

Bobby Bones did end up MCing the event. Bobby and I have run into each other a few times before, and well I don't really care for him too much. I do have to admit that he was really nice and not toolish this time around. Well actually I take that back because he did ask me, "Emma do any cute girls other than the ones that are already here come to this thing?"

Oh and then later he said, "Hey Emma who is that chick you were talking to?"

Bobby Bones apparently is really on the prowl. Lame.

I will admit that the highlight of the night for me was how Sean Little would not stop talking to Bobby Bones, and Im pretty sure Sean Little wanted to find out if Bobby Bones was willing to get scandalous with him aka Sean Little wanted to rape Bobby Bones. It didn't work but it was really entertaining.

I made friends with the DJ at Vicci who happens to spin on saturdays there, and that makes him my favorite DJ. He also played all my fave songs and I really enjoyed dancing to my spanish music with the whities, hehe.

The night ended with Sean Little pretending to be straight for a little bit but then ended up going home with someone who is very very gay.