Why I need to drink with Bob, Snippy and Santi

I feel like booty dancing, and Bob is the Queen of Booty dancing among other things.

I know how much fun Snippy is when she orders alcohol instead of a Dr.Pepper.

Because just when I think I am too scandalous, slutty, loud and a lush Santi manages to make me look like a saint.

Oh yeah Santi, Im also tired of seeing your cigarettes at the bottom of my purse. They are totally cramping my style. At church on sunday instead of pulling out my wallet I pulled out your cigarettes, IN CHURCH, in front of MY WHOLE family. Did I mention that my parents are pastors now?

Now they think I smoke and they don't belive me when I tell them I don't since they know that I have sex, dirty dance, swear and lie. Someone doing that many bad things has to be a smoker and most likely does lines of coke off her Bible.

Mom and Dad, I don't smoke, lines of coke are more my thing. Let's face it smoking is just plain trashy. How to not be trashy is one lesson I did actually learn from you guys.